Since readers and listeners have been posting such spectacular questions every week on KarmaAir.com, I’ll provide a little “Enlightening Relationships Q & A” from now on with a couple of my favorites. We hope you enjoy our debut installment!
Q: I feel like I have read every relationship “how to” book… I think positive, I tried Match.com, and I have dated many people. Nothing is working. What am I doing wrong? It’s like I feel defeated – like I don’t care anymore, yet I do care and would love to meet someone… help!
-Signed: Single and Sick of It
A. I get this question all the time, and have coined it, “The Single Person’s RANT.” Thinking that love comes from self-effort is only recognizing PART of the equation. I have learned as an astrologer that to find a “true love” requires divine intervention and grace as well. We all have “seasons of love” and these can be seen and predicted years in advance in the stars! (I knew for seven years the year that I was getting married from my own chart and have been able to predict “wedding windows” many times with clients…) Self-effort and positive thinking are VERY important, but not enough – so drop the shame and blame immediately. The only thing you’re doing “wrong” is not trusting the process of your life and surrendering to the journey while keeping the faith (which has the lovely side benefit of making you MORE attractive, by the way!). It ain’t over ’til you’re dead, so keep your heart open and keep going!
Q: I have been dating a man for about three years now. We don’t have fun times anymore, I have no passion for him or the things we do. I don’t want to hurt him – he says he loves me more than anything else. How can you end a relationship without totally devastating the other person?
Signed: Stuck in a Relationship Rut
A. Oh boy – this is tough! It’s lovely that you want to be kind and not hurt him, but breaking up is painful no matter how careful or kind you are. I would try to talk with him about the things you’re not happy about and make sure they can’t be healed. It sounds like you haven’t been letting him in on your process and that may be part of why you don’t feel connected to him anymore – passion and intimacy cannot exist when you’re turning away from someone and not being honest. So, try that. If you’re still certain you want to end it, then you must. Who knows? You may be keeping him from being with someone who’d adore him and want to ravage him regularly! Not all relationships are “meant to be” forever, and guilt is not a strong enough or healthy enough glue to hold a couple together. He deserves better, and so do you. Good luck!