Enlightening Answers: Commitment and a Complicated Living Situation

I’ve been dating the same guy for three years. I want a commitment from him. He says he isn’t ready for marriage. He finally broke down and gave me a ring (as a symbol of his love for me) this past January and says that he doesn’t want to date anyone else. I’ve even tried to leave him. I just can’t. So he has me and he knows it. I just don’t want to wake up one day alone and realize I’ve wasted all this time on him. Sometimes I think it may be because I’m a single mom and have children ranging in age 19 to four.

Weary of Waiting

Dear Weary,

Plenty of men marry women with children. Face it – you’re a package deal. If he doesn’t want your whole package, he’s not your guy. Ask him if there’s anything about your relationship that you can change for the better. Is he completely satisfied? Perhaps he’s happy to date you, but would want something to be improved if he were to take that leap with you… If he insists there’s nothing more you can do, then you have a decision to make. Research does say that the longer you date someone past 18 months, the less likely they are to marry you. Why not still see him but also date others? If he’s not going to “take you off the market,” why not look for another buyer? These things have a way of dragging on, and if you’re not going to put your needs ahead of his and commit to yourself, he likely never will, either.

Get going!

I’m a 49-year-old divorced, very attractive woman in excellent shape. Due to a series of circumstances, my daughters and I were forced to move back home to my parents after my divorce. I have some health issues so I have not been working. How can I find my prince charming? I tried online dating, but when men find out about my living situation and that I’m not working they’re turned off. Any suggestions?

Home (Almost) Alone

Dear Home,

I have good news for you, my dear. Love is available to everyone – rich, old, young, poor, sick… There’s not a human circumstance that has prevented someone from finding love. So, my first suggestion is to stop worrying about it and giving this limiting belief any power.

You’re taking care of yourself and your children and doing the best you can. I’m so glad for you that you have loving, supportive parents to shelter you from your difficulties – we should all be so lucky! My next suggestion is to join groups where you can meet men with similar interests. Get to know them first – form friendships that can bloom into something more over time. With dating and online dating, it’s too easy to dismiss people who don’t have the perfect “check-list” or resume. Keep extending yourself and being a loving person – be as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside – and you’ll soon find you have many options.

Good luck,

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