Should You Consider Divorce?
No one enters marriage with the intention of divorcing later. Though many couples are aware of the statistic that about half of marriages end in divorce, everyone thinks they are the ones who will fall within the half that stay together until death. Because of such high expectations, it is shocking when you realize that maybe you’re going to be part of the statistic after all. Your first reaction might be denial, but eventually you won’t be able to ignore the signs that your marriage is over and that you and your spouse will be better off if you call it quits.
Here are some of the common reasons why couples choose divorce:
If your spouse is addicted to a substance or behavior and either refuses to enter a recovery program or has failed at several attempts, then you must take action to end your marriage, even if you still love him or her. On the flipside, if you or your spouse were addicts at the time you began your relationship and are now sober, there is still a possibility that divorce is the best direction to move in if you aren’t getting along well. A relationship founded in sickness cannot survive health. Recovery often leads to self-discovery and self-growth. If the boundaries of your marriage cannot expand to encompass that growth, then you must end your marriage in order to move forward with your life.
If you and/or your spouse harbor so much anger, whether rooted in your relationship or based on previous life experiences, that you feel resentment, jealousy, and disrespect for your spouse and your marriage, then staying together will probably breed nothing but negativity. If you’ve tried therapy and can’t move beyond your anger, then move on. A marriage should be a nurturing relationship, not a destructive one.
Although not all couples divorce after the discovery of infidelity, if you simply can’t get over it, despite counseling, then it is probably best to divorce. Marriage requires a foundation of trust and commitment, and if infidelity has eroded those qualities in your relationship, the foundation on which you built your marriage has crumbled.
Boredom or Lack of Passion
“I believe that many relationships stagnate from the routines of their habits,” says Psychic Kim ext. 5512, “and these couples don’t know how to create change and revitalize their love.”
In the same way that baseball pitchers throw a change-up just when the batter thinks he knows what to expect, a good marriage has to change things up every once in a while. If you and your spouse don’t want to exert the energy that breaking habits requires, then it’s possible you no longer value your marriage.
Sometimes when couples marry outside of their socioeconomic class, differences arise that are difficult to overcome because they are rooted in cultural backgrounds. According to family relations authority Richard H. Klemer, the upper and lower classes both spend impulsively, whereas members of the middle class are taught to save and plan purchases. So a middle-class person can become frustrated with a spouse who spends impulsively. The upper and lower classes are also not as attentive to paying bills on time as middle-class people are.
Attitudes about money are tough to change. If you’ve tried earnestly to work out a compromise and hit a dead end, you might need to divorce to protect your financial reputation, as well as your sanity.
You’ve Grown Apart
Sometimes when couples marry at a young age, they realize later that they don’t have enough in common to continue building their relationship as they develop separate interests and priorities. This situation also happens to older couples sometimes after their children have grown and moved out. With no children to focus their attention on, it becomes apparent that they grew apart over the years.
“The person you married is most likely not the same person who now stands before you. Chances are good that you have changed as well,” says Psychic Red ext. 9226. “Looking back may bring joy or pain, but what really matters is now. You still have a whole life ahead of you, one that is different than you had originally planned.”
Remember, being able to honestly evaluate a situation and then adjust your plan accordingly is healthy. To guide you through your transition, call one of our psychics for guidance.
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