Should You Plan a Future Together?
The most successful long-term relationships have great communication where couples can talk freely and honestly. Before becoming engaged and married, make sure you and your partner are in agreement about future plans. You don’t want to waste each other’s time when you really aren’t each other’s life partner.
Here is a list of important conversations every couple thinking about taking the next step should have:
Where to Live
Where do you want to live? Do you want to be close to family, friends, work or school? If you want to have children some day, would you raise them in the neighborhood you currently live in? If not, do you have a plan for moving to a more child-friendly place?
Get a Pet
Sharing the responsibility of caring for a pet in important if you’re pet people. Even if you both brought pets into the relationship, it is important to get a pet together that you are equally responsible for.
Divvy up the Chores
Who is going to do what? If you both work, expect the amount of chores each of you do to be about equal.
To Have or to Have Not: Babies
Do you both want children, and if so, how many and when? Will one of you stay home to raise them or will they be placed in daycare? Is adoption an option?
Will you have a joint savings and checking account or will you keep your money separate? Consider how much debt each of you has. Even if you’d prefer to keep your money separate, it’s a good idea to have at least one joint account. You can use it to pay household bills or save up for furniture, a trip or a new family car.
“Being honest with ourselves about our own relationship with money allows us to stand back and gain more clarity when it comes to money issues with our partner.” – Psychic Quinn ext. 5484
Meet the Parents
Get to know each other’s families if you’re serious about a future together. Weed out the supportive relatives from the disapproving ones (if any) so you know exactly what you’ll be dealing with.
Disconnect With Exes
Delete emails, phone numbers, texts, photos and any social media connections to your exes. They are just liabilities that could complicate and even damage your relationship. Of course there are exceptions, but make sure your current lover is comfortable with it.
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Save for Your Golden Years
Start you retirement accounts and try to figure out when you will retire. Retire as close as possible to each other to maximize your time together.
Make sure you both have insurance and even doctors in the same office if possible. Attend appointment together or find another way to stay on top of each other’s health issues. Does someone need to quit smoking or lose weight? How will these issues be handled going forward and how will you both support each other?
Keep Dating Each Other
Keep romance alive with date nights, love notes, anniversary celebrations and reminders of your future together.
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How often do you need to get away? Do you prefer a smaller trip every year or a big trip every few years? How do each of you like to spend your vacation time?
Plan a Wedding Together
What kind of wedding have you envisioned? Who is going to be there and more importantly, who is going to pay for it? Plan it together. Make as many decisions together as you can and always stick together when trouble brews with family and friends.
If you come from different faiths, how will you incorporate both of them into your home life?Will you practice together or apart? If you have children, how will they be raised?
These discussion are about compatibility and hopefully you’ve had them before you made a commitment to each other. I know many couples who waited until it was too late to have these discussions. They didn’t realize they were incompatible until they had already committed to each other.
If you love someone, find out everything about them. Ask questions—even the ones that make you nervous. You think you may know the answers already, but a discussion with your partner may tell your otherwise. You don’t have to have these conversations all at once. I suggest sprinkling them throughout your relationship and then checking in again from time to time to see if the answers change. It’s always better to find out sooner rather than later.
Good luck on your romantic journey!