Sometimes, when we’re dating, it’s super easy to turn a blind eye to certain things we don’t like. Especially if you’re like many daters who are actively looking for “the one.” One thing to keep in mind is that we can’t make someone into something they’re not – nor can we substitute the wrong person for the right one, though most of us have certainly been known to try!
The next time you’re in the early stages of dating, no matter what your eyes (or hormones) are telling you, pay attention to your date’s behaviors. If he or she exhibits any of the following tell-tale clues, you may want to consider if he or she is someone you want to be out with after all!
1. Impolite to Service Staff
If your date can’t be nice to your waiter, or the bartender, or the valet, or anyone else who performs any service during the course of your date (coat check girl and bus boy are other examples), it’s not a good sign. Consider how little it takes to be nice rather than rude. Consider how hard these people work – and that if they’re not in the best moods, it’s probably been prompted by someone’s ill treatement of them. Consider that a date without manners is one who is likely to care little about the feelings of others – including yours – and this needs little explanation.
2. Doesn’t Return Calls (or Emails)
No matter how many reasons you can concoct for why a date hasn’t called, the truth is simple: interested parties are interested in contact. If someone doesn’t make the first call, that may not indicate a lack of interest (remember, there are no absolutes about who should call whom as long as your behavior is true to yourself)… But if someone doesn’t return a call, they’re either not interested or playing a game. And games can be costly – especially when one player doesn’t know they’re involved.
3. Rehashes Old Relationships
Okay… so we all have exes. A fact of life, and actually, a fortunate one because like everything else, relationships have a learning curve. Hopefully, we learn from our mistakes and make them less often as time goes on. However, if your date is still stuck in the past, in another relationship and feels the need to talk about it or complain about it or place blame for it, you may want to think again before going further. Most likely, there’s some issue that needs to be worked out before that person can really move on… and there’s certainly some time to go before they’re ready to truly commit to a new – and different – relationship with you.
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