A very dear regular of mine, asked me the other day, “Why do people in relationships and dating always ask, what are you thinking?” And, it dawned on me, she was right!
It appears that a lot of the times, when someone you are involved with, asks frequently, “what are you thinking,” usually it is because they have some secret thoughts of their own. Actually, they are asking you this because they are wondering if you are doing the same thing. Regardless, there is also a fear to be the first one to put the “card” on the table, so, they would like you do to it first.
I bet if you asked yourself this honestly, you would think of many instances when dating/in relationships when this was asked to you, and vice versa. Although it is always scary to put thoughts and feelings out in the open, but yet, your date or partner is picking up on “something,” it is really important to be honest.
However, if you are not honest, it will only build a wall or, at least a bigger wall between you. There are risks we all take in relationships, but communication is key. Therefore, if your date/or partner “pegs” you and you really are thinking about them or the relationship, tell them in the most constructive way possible.
Sometimes we have to take a risk in order to get closer, and if you say, “nothing really is on my mind, I am not thinking anything,” well, you just missed a chance to create more intimacy and grow closer. It’s funny that sometimes in relationships, we don’t realize that our relationship is actually evolving during a clash of wills or discussing the truths that are hard to handle. Actually, it may take a few weeks in order to see that. But do not think the worst. Sometimes, in our darkest moments of fear, in relationships, just when we think it is over, something changes and the relationship is still continuing. Further, sometimes when feelings are discussed, it may take a little while to fully absorb what happened.
Be honest in your relationship. Do tell your partner or date what you are thinking when asked. If you don’t, there is a chance that your partner could come to the conclusion that you two are not connecting. I am sure there are many readers out there that deal with these types of situations a lot in their readings. And thank you to my dear client who brought this to my attention – for you know who are you. And I appreciate it! You are a smart cookie!