Have you ever met that one person—the one who makes you feel like you’ve come home? You both have so much in common, and you look at the world in the same way. Sparks fly, and you know you’ve met “the one.” But…
The other person doesn’t seem to feel the same way. Oh, they feel that special connection alright, but it scares the holy frijoles out of them! They pretend not to be aware of the pull of that cosmic string that binds you together through past life associations. Or there is passion and connection between you, but there might also be fighting and misunderstanding. You find yourself wondering, how can we be so close and yet have all these problems?
Well, these complications don’t just appear out of nowhere—they come from the past lives you’ve spent together. Back then, you established a relationship that bore the test of time. To make that progress, you had to weave together your relationship with the threads of many experiences and actions over the course of many lives. And some of those threads may be more than a bit weak. When we made poor choices or acted out of fear or resentment, we created those weak threads which in turn weaken the fabric of the relationship. Each thread is a story of karma, and in order for the relationship to be strong, we must reinforce the strands with healing and balance.
Clear that Karma!
How do we do that, especially when we don’t even remember what started all the past life drama? The key to overcoming bad karma is to sincerely deal with it. This means approaching the problems with forgiveness and a sense of responsibility toward our own contributions to the karma. This may be a tall order if your partner isn’t open to these concepts. But with this meditation, you don’t need him or her present to make good progress on mending the relationship.
To start this process, you must first allow yourself some quiet time and space. Begin with breathing exercises, or even just listening to a centering piece of music. Then visualize the person you have karma with. See them as clearly as possible in front of you, and be sure you see them in a relaxed state, open and receptive. Then follow these three steps:
1. Forgive him or her. Out loud or in your mind, tell them “I forgive you for all harm you have done to me and our relationship, leaving peace and love in its place.”
2. Apologize. Take ownership of your part in the complicated dance that is karma. No one is perfect, and usually no one is completely innocent in these situations. Say “I apologize and take responsibility for any and all harm I have done in this relationship, leaving peace and love in its place.”
3. Forgive yourself. Sometimes we shoot ourselves in the foot with our actions, and by forgiving yourself you are allowing yourself to be receptive to the relationship, and not punishing yourself by subconsciously undermining it. Say, “I forgive myself for any and all harm I have done in this relationship, leaving peace and love in its place.”
Perform these steps once a day for two to four weeks. As you are going through this process, be mindful of the relationship and the things that need work. Do what you can to resolve issues with clear communication and understanding, but avoid negative confrontations that involve accusations or name calling. Over time, you should see some significant changes in the way you both interact. Highly charged emotional issues will calm down, and you will see healthier communication between you. You should also notice more willingness to compromise, from yourself as well as your partner.
The thing to remember is that this will help clear up past karma, but it doesn’t necessarily transform your relationship into candy and roses. Opportunities to make more bad karma crop up all the time, so make a commitment to handling conflicts with wisdom and patience. It may even be possible that the two of you aren’t meant to travel through this life together, but by clearing karma you can both walk away with a sense of peace, understanding that you have healed your connection, and that this sacred bond will continue to exist throughout this life and beyond. And the next time you meet, you will not be hindered by past karmic issues that have interfered with your love in the past, leaving you free to rewrite your relationship with the love and joy of positive karma.