Casual Sex Without Regrets?

Casual Sex: Is it Right for You?

Is it possible to have casual sex without regrets? Absolutely, as many people do it all the time. However, just because a few can get away with it, it doesn’t everyone is cut out for the “walk of shame,” (or “walk of fame,” depending on your outlook) that occurs the morning after. The big question is: Can you teach yourself to have casual sex without regrets? Yes and no.

Sex is Enjoyable for Anyone

There has been a lot of research on this topic, and as it turns out, women think about casual sex almost as much as guys. In fact, women also seem to enjoy the act, although in a slightly different way than most men. When a man is engaging in casual sex his ultimate goal is to pleasure the woman.

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I can already hear the sighs of disbelief. This isn’t a selfless act, mind you, as men actually derive their pleasure from the fact that their partner is enjoying what they are doing. In other words, the more into sex a woman is, the more a man gets out of it. So, it is in his best interest to focus on her enjoyment, just as much as his own.

Many women are attracted to casual sex because it makes them feel desired and sexy. They fantasize about a man who loses control whenever they are around. However, the research suggests that women still do not have as many orgasms during casual sex as with a long-term partner, and there are a few reasons for this.

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The Aftermath of Casual Sex

Women are more in touch with their emotional feelings during sex, so sex with a stranger may not be enough to get them going. Women are most open to sharing their desires with a lover when they know him. In other words, women are more likely to ask for what they want in bed when they have a history with a guy.

It has also been suggested that women are more choosy than men, even when it comes to casual sex. It is believed that genetics and biology play a huge part in a woman deciding who she sleeps with. But men often don’t consider anything other than desire when it comes to casual sex. As a result, they are likely to hookup with more casual partners than women do.

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When men have casual sex, they feel content when they have pleased their partner. They don’t necessarily think about seeing and pleasing them again. But a woman takes pleasure in knowing that a man desires her and longs to be with her. If that happens once, but not again, it can leave a woman feeling used and self-conscious.

Casual Sex Without Regrets

Most research suggests that women can enjoy casual sex so long as they feel desired, safe and secure. These should be your golden rules to great casual sex. However, once the deed is done, women who internalize the judgments of others may feel guilty and depressed.

How you feel about casual sex should be a personal decision, and not be influenced by what others say, or what you might think they would say. Men do enjoy making women feel desired and special, even when the sex is casual. But women should also know that the men they are hooking up with are playing a fantasy in his head, and therefore the intense desire they are displaying may not be entirely for the women they’re with. It’s wise not to take what a man says during sex as his true feelings.

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As long as you know the rules of the game, and are honest with your casual partners, there is no reason you can’t enjoy casual sex without regrets (if that is what you want). But if you try it and don’t get the satisfaction out of it you expected, consider that it might not be the right activity for you.

17 thoughts on “Casual Sex Without Regrets?

  1. best bi guy

    I also had guilty from always desiring casual sex pleasing men as well as woman. I finally got tired of the repressing it and had pleased a man after a casual hookup. Im Godless and guiltless as my wife gets any and as many flings she desires and I’m committed to only her. Why did I deny myself in silence so long?

  2. Seriousgirl

    I’ve read several articles on the topic and have made friends that know and spoken about csbf (casual sex). The way that men think and treat women nowadays is Disgusting. Towards the end of our lives we All need someone unless you want to end up alone. This goes for Men and Women who encounter in casual sex. Sex is meant for two people to commit to one another. Playboys or sluts should grow up and look at the Real World. Marriage is a commitment and if You truly love one another then it works. There is no reason for people to “hook up” as it leaves the one that Wants a relationship hopeless. Does any one really want to be alone without a women or a man when they grow old?? I have spoken and seen many older people who are lonely and unhappy because they were players and then ended up alone and with regrets. It’s time to change our generation and go back to what was once a supportive togetherness. You’d be surprised as to happy and being in Love is All about. Think about it!!

  3. Seren ext. 5445Psychic Seren, Ext 5445

    Another great article on a timely and apparently controversial topic, Eric.

    For those of you who read this article and inferred that the author is advocating casual sex, I respectfully suggest that you reread the article with an open mind.

    He does not state that casual sex is good, bad or otherwise, nor does he pass judgment on either those who engage in or abstain from such relations.

    What the author says is that each of us needs to know what is right for us, regardless of what anyone else thinks we should or should not be doing.

    None of us have the right to impose our beliefs on another soul… if casual sex works for you, more power to you, and if it does not, then simply do not enter into such arrangements.

    Whatever your belief or feeling about the subject, though, do try to respect that different people have differing beliefs and reserve judgment for something that pertains to your own life, keeping in mind that yours is the only life which you have the right to judge.

    Thanks for providing an open-minded, respectful and tolerant approach to a subject many find difficult to discuss, Eric, and for encouraging our readers to have the courage to live their lives in accord with their own morals.

    Brightest blessings,

  4. Psychic DarlenePsychic Darlene

    Chastity, thoughtful article, thank you! I feel as though there is no one size fits all here. I think the key point is figuring out one’s own boundaries when it comes to casual sex and doing what feels best for you.

  5. butterfly

    Casual sex is bad and wrong. The people who promote this are mostly men who want a variety of women for “free”. People like to go along with the crowd but it is nothing worse than getting pregnant for a man whom you later discover does not even consider you a friend and rejects you and the baby. Yes I got pregnant using a condom and the MAN CLLED ME A LIAR and cut off all contact. Women do not engage in this behavior, you can really suffer emotionally.

  6. Just Me

    Funny this came up. Sadly, I just a few days ago I ended a casual sex (friends with benefits) relationship. The sex was over the top, the best I’ve had, ever. WOW!! He was definitely a generous lover and in the beginning treated me like a girlfriend but unfortunately it started to feel like a bootie call and I told him from the start, I wasn’t cut out to be a casual lover. I wish I could just push my feelings and wants for a long term committed relationship aside and go for it, but I can’t, I tried. Dang…seriously, the sex was incredible. Oh and another thing, I am Christian and get this, he’s a Muslim from Iran. what a world, what a world. 🙂 One more thing, my faith did have a lot to do with me ending it. Be safe out there.

  7. diane

    A long time “relationship” I was in ended recently. I have realized for him it was casual, for me I have realized I had become extremely attached and now going through a very emotional time. I will not ever become involved like that again. Like others posting here, I realize I need a mutual connection. It is important we understand our needs if we allow ourselves this kind of intimacy.

  8. Virgogirl

    u have to know the person fully before u get married and u can get out of having a casual sex encounter with the guy…that’s all I have to say…

  9. annie

    Enough of this self-righteousness. Be true to yourself. “To thine ownself be true”. God has more important things to worry about. This decision is yours and yours alone. Take responsibility for your actions and whatever happens, including any consequences. Life is made up of choices and casual sex is no more than another choice to be made on both parts. Leave God out of it – it’s much too easy to put another burden on his broad shoulders. This is your decision – accept it.

  10. shaylyn71

    You know I don’t understand why people use God and Christianity to tell other people how to live their lives. I don’t tell you that you have to have casual sex everyday with a different partner and you shouldn’t tell me that I have to live everyday of my life having sex with the same man. You may believe that God created the ten commandments, but some of us believe that Moses created the ten commandments because he was losing control of all of the people. He took forty days and carved them. I know God could have carved them on a mountain in 5 seconds if he wanted. God didn’t make up the marriage rule, Moses did. Not all Christians are judgmental, I’m pretty sure Judge not lest ye be judged was right up there with your Fornication rule, but I could be wrong.

  11. anetsela

    Oh my GODDESS if I have to read one more fundamentalist GOD-freak comment….How about learning to THINK ON YOUR OWN TWO FEET…..brainwashed sheep…..a God-freak on a Psychic website/getting psychic advice?? Oxymoron much??? As the article says, casual sex is not for everybody….it’s not telling people to engage in it….it respects both viewpoints. So…..all you fundy’s that claim to know what God says/wants? Are you sure that isn’t your preacher whispering in your ear dictating how you should live your life? Hey, don’t you want to at least try on the shoes before you buy them (or a couple pair of shoes to see what styles suit you)? Not that one should impulsively buy every shoe out there….some styles don’t work for some people. I don’t know about you, but how happy/satisfied would you be if you bought the shoes, before trying them on, get them home, and find they are WAY too small, and you couldn’t return them?? Shoes, cars, sex, whatever. ***Newsflash*** All you easily-influenced lemmings out there….I’m pretty sure you *won’t* go to hell if you have a casual fling or two.

  12. jula

    I believe that once you have sex with someone, everything changes and someone is bound to
    get hurt by a casual affair. I tried to have a casual sex relationship with a man I had a ‘crush’
    on and found myself obsessing about him constantly between ‘encounters’. I was relieved
    when he ‘left town’ because it gave me the space to breathe and realize that I am not the sort
    of person who can have a casual affair. I need to feel loved and love back and you don’t get
    that from a casual hook-up. The sex in a casual affair is not usually as good as we imagine it
    to be from our own fantasies anyways. Sometimes it is downright disappointing and you
    question why you got involved in the first place. The only thing I got out of it is the awareness
    that this is not the kind of relationship that I want to have in my life.

  13. truthsayer

    I am very glad to see that you, “ReikiGirl”, mentioned what can happen when one engages
    in casual sex. I actually logged on to write a comment about the idea of “casual sex”.
    While I find this information interesting and informative from a perspective of understanding
    people, I find it concerning that you, Mr. Leech, do not mention not worrying at all about what
    God has to say and any other ramifications of “casual sex”. Maturity, Godly wisdom and
    good sense will hopefully rule out one day and people will stop having “casual sex” for reasons that would fill a book. Hopefully someday there will be enough wise people in the world
    who counsel young people and old people to save sex as the gift for marriage it was intended for. I have been wondering if it is time I stop looking at the California Psychic Network as it seems to be a bit too “free and easy” thinking shall I say when it comes to speaking responsibly and morally about sex.
    Also-psychic Chastity-they have your picture featured at the top and if one is not very careful to read who wrote the article one would connect your face with the words in this article. I would not be comfortable with that being done if those were not my own words/thoughts. Just my opinion!

  14. Mary

    A big no in my book, and for all the reasons stated. I have the need to feel connected, cared for and loved. No wham bam thank you mam. Guess I watched too many love stories growing up.

  15. Midget

    Casual sex is a term that the modern day world attaches to sex without commitment. At the origin of sex it was designed to be with a multitude of people. Its original intention was to have pleasure between the 2 creations of God and to procreate. I know this sounds funky and foreign but when done properly and with the proper intentions erotic love and agape type love co exist and God is present in the union. People do chose one mate and can live happily and only desire one person their whole life time; when the process is done with God’s intention. The world tells us that it is ok to misuse sex and to do it as often as we feel like doing it. But it doesn’t discuss all the heart aches and illnesses and misguided births that come from a world of do what feels right for you. Read Theology of the Body or better yet listen to it on the internet with Christopher West who brings it down to reality. The Churches have been talking about it for years but many of us would rather listen to Play Boy or Vogue because they act like they know better than God. After all the world is about you; when you die you don’t care where you go or what happens then, until you get where you are headed. Right??? Do you have sex because it is expected of you? Is sex your barometer of whether the other person loves you??? Does sex ever get dull and uninteresting??? Why??Are you too busy taking than giving and receiving??? After all everyone does it, Right??? Look at the old grey haired people in church how they still hold each other and give each other the sign of peace. Did they have 50 sexual relationships before finding each other- Probably not!!! They got it right the first time. What do you use to direct you towards your goal in life???Does TV, Radio, the internet, etc tell you how to live? Just what path are you on??? Something to think about. Like is not about rambling through wondering where you are going but rather it is more enjoyable knowing you have a direction and a purpose and a way to obtain your goals. God is not old fashioned, he listens when no one in this world is listening. He provides when you think there is no way around it. He can be the rock that saves us from damnation. Why do we ignore Him and think that all the other people on this earth have the answers. They have no intention on going to heaven but will probably with they had in the end. The psychologists who try to tell you how to have better sex miss the point that meeting and finding the right person to marry can solve all of these problems. Yes marriage is messy but if done with love and respect can be the best answer to today’s issues. There is nothing more rewarding than a loving committed spouse. One is all you need if you ignore what the world is telling you. We have enough Chaos and we don’t need to add to it. Thinking before you act. Know the person who you share your intimate self with. Know your purpose in life, have respect for you and others around you. Getting love in all the wrong places does not help you learn yourself; it just adds to the confusion. It causes you to beat yourself up and does not show you the right path. IT’s not too late to start over and rediscover what God wants you to do and with whom you are to share your life.

  16. ReikiGirl

    A dear friend of mine had a casual sex encounter many years ago and it resulted in a pregnancy. She did not realize she was pregnant until a few months had passed. Not knowing the last name of the gentleman or where he was from, there was no way to contact him. Today she has a son who does not know his dad, and a dad who does not know he has a son. (I sometimes wonder if they ran into each other in a public place, if they would recognize each other, the son looks nothing like his mom.)

    Sex can be fun and exciting, but remember no birth control is 100%. May I add though that my friend has done a magnificent job raising her son.


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