Building and Rebuilding Trust in Relationships
Once trust has been broken, it can be incredibly difficult to regain it. What do you do when the walls of security have come down? Below we include the voices of a few experts: both psychologists, and our own psychics, who can help you navigate the waters of either building or repairing trust in a relationship.
Psychology Today reports:
DANIEL BORENSTEIN, M.D. Immediate Past President, American Psychiatric Association
Once trust has been betrayed, most people will be less trusting the next time. The degree of mistrust that is engendered varies between individuals and with the sensitivity of a particular betrayal. However, over a period of time, your trust can be rebuilt with repeated positive experiences. For example, if your boyfriend is unfaithful, you won’t initially trust the next man you date. But, when a man consistently demonstrates his reliability, despite your more critical evaluation of his actions, he might earn your trust. These common but painful human experiences contribute to your growth and development. (Read the rest of the article here.)
Our psychics offer some wisdom and insight on learning to trust, starting with trusting ourselves. Psychic Amanda ext. 5605 shares:
The voice of intuition speaks to us through another part of our body and not through our head. It speaks to us through a sensation that is in our chest area (solar plexus). The voice of intuition is not really a voice. It is a feeling, a sensation, and it takes place in the chest area of your body. Intuition is the body’s natural way of protecting you from people, situations, and experiences that will not benefit you and may harm you.
When we begin to really learn to hone into that feeling, that sensation, and begin to trust it and value what it teaches us, our decisions and choices will be beneficial ones and we will soon learn to begin to trust ourselves, whereby creating an internal knowingness that fosters genuine self-esteem. It comes from within, not from without. We will have the strength of inner knowingness to call upon. Using that inner wisdom as our guide, we will never make choices that will hurt us or deter us from what is truly important to us.
We are born with this ability to listen to our inner workings. We have been taught to ignore it, to discredit it, and yet, it is one of our most important internal mechanisms for self-preservation and survival.
Next time you are faced with a choice that you have to make, listen to your heart. It will guide you. Do not let your head and your thoughts dissuade you from the knowingness that will ultimately be your protector. Ignoring this important sensation will only lead you to some space in your future, when you will look back at that time in your life, or that choice that you made and say “I knew it.” “I knew I shouldn’t have done that” or perhaps you will remember that day that you acted based on that feeling and sensation in your chest and your response will be, “I knew it. I knew it was the right thing to do that day!”
Psychic Rogers ext. 5327 offered some great insight about the process of building trust in a relationship:
“Et tu, Brute?” This phrase immortalized by William Shakespeare in Julius Caesar captures the importance of trust and betrayal in any relationship. Even in the modern society, “trust” and “risk” are bound together. Where there is trust, there is betrayal and like a wise banker, we always aim to minimize the “risk” of betrayal. This “risk minimization” is the reason why we do not trust a lot of people. But then there are people who say, “The best way you can find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” How would you know if you are a good singer, if you do not sing! Trust is a two-way road. As the great Chinese philosopher Lao Tse said, ”He who does not trust enough, will not be trusted.”
Gaining trust in yourself and in others depends on your willingness to be able to cultivate qualities such as:
• Being consistent with your stated values with minimal deviations.
• Communicating with an open heart and no hidden agendas.
• Acknowledging the abilities and strengths of others.
• Showing genuine concern for others.
Finally, Psychic Reed ext. 5105 summarizes:
Real trust takes real time.
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