The Delicate Art of Turning a Crush Into a Date
There are two approaches to this question. If you are shy, you may be wondering how you can ask someone out without experiencing the embarrassment or grief of taking a chance. On the other hand, you may have the courage, but lack a good track record, and are beginning to wonder if you have the right technique. Regardless of which pair of shoes you stand in, you’re in luck, as the answer is fundamentally the same.
I think there are many creative ways to introduce yourself to someone when you’re shy. You could write a message in a bottle, create a website, or draw up a treasure map and have them go on a treasure hunt to find you seated in their favorite coffee shop. While I do believe there is a place for creativity and the accidental flirt, the most impact you will have on a crush is during face-to-face contact. If that thought has sent shivers up and down your spine, don’t worry, we’ll be addressing that.
Disguise Your Introduction as a Favor
A successful date is not only getting your crush to say yes, but getting them to make an investment. One of the best ways to do this is to create a scenario where they’re giving to the relationship before it even starts. This signals to their brain that this is something important. In this definition, an introductory date could consist of helping you with a copy machine that is jammed, or directions to a nearby ATM. People love to help others, and it will make the likelihood of them saying yes to a date even greater. Not that your chances are that bad, considering most research suggests one out of two guys (one out of three women) will readily agree to a first date.
Don’t Over Evaluate Your Body Cues
The body is a wonderful machine. It is designed to monitor emotional and physiological changes, and then protect itself in the face of danger. When you walk up to a crush, get freaked out, turn around and walk away, you are allowing yourself to listen to this biology, which is saying, “I’m feeling scared. Get me out of here.” When it comes to asking out a crush, you need to learn to ignore these messages. A good technique is to focus on your intent (thoughts), rather than your body’s reaction to your fear.
“A true love partner is possible, together you and your psychic can seek the required groundwork.” – TeriLynn ext. 9625
Part of asking out a crush is often being slightly unsure. This leads to the common questions, “Would you like to go out sometime?”, or “Perhaps we could have lunch some day?” Why not remove the hesitation, and make plans for now. Even if they are busy during the time you suggest, having made the stronger initiative will pay off by encouraging them to make alternative plans. So if you say, “Let’s grab a cup of coffee after work” and they’re busy, they will be more likely to reply, “I can’t today, but how about tomorrow?”
Be Available, But Barely
Turning the tables on a crush can be difficult. There are a lot of chemical things going on in your brain that are making you feel all goofy and tingly inside. This puts you at a disadvantage because you are the most invested person at that moment, and have the most to lose. In other words, your crush is just fine with your current, non-existent relationship, and you’re the one who wants to change that. Of course, it is possible that the other person could have a crush on you too. However, if they don’t, you’ll need to encourage one. People value things most after they’ve been taken away. With this in mind, go ahead and make yourself available, and then become slightly scarce. When your crush decides to seek you out, you’ll have a much easier time finding the courage to ask them on a date.
“Enjoy a date without worrying if your date is ‘the one.'” – Maryanne ext. 9146
Reward Them for Saying Yes
Reward a crush for saying yes by doing your homework and choosing an activity you know they’ll enjoy. Just remember that every relationship is a two-way street. You have extended a kindness, and now it is their turn to return the favor. One of the biggest differences between a crush and committed relationships is equality. If you allow yourself to fall into the position where you’re giving your crush everything in return for nothing, they may take advantage of this, and you’ll never get your own needs met.
To sum up this article in one sentence, the key to rounding up a crush will be in your ability to entice by reward, and then win them over after encouraging them to bargain for your continued attention.
“If your love life is not alive with support, happiness and appreciation, seek the ‘why’ and ask your psychic.” – TeriLynn ext. 9625