6 Signs You Deserve Better
Successful relationships demand hard work and compromise, but when you’re working more than your fair share, and compromise means working around his preferences, it’s likely that you’re in a dead-end relationship. Here are a few signs that it may be time to take the deadbeat out with the trash.
1. While you’re hard at work building a career, he’s at home playing video games and working a few hours a week. This may sound a little over the top; however, there is little doubt that it describes many unfortunate relationships. If you are focused on improving yourself, and your career, while he barely gets through the day of his deadbeat job before heading home to stare at sports games or video games, you may want to look into upgrading your relationship package. It’s not so much the type of job, but the lack of motivation for anything better, which matters here. Everyone has to start somewhere, but when it’s obvious he’s going nowhere, you need to reconsider your choices. Better to just cut your losses and find someone with some real goals.
2. For every ounce of effort he makes for you, you’ve done a ton for him. It’s the little things that couples can do for one another that can make or break the relationship. If you two are happy in the partnership, your behavior will demonstrate your pleasure in the small, positive gestures you make toward one another. If you find that you continually go out of your way to brighten his day, while you are hard-pressed to remember the last time he did something nice for you, he is clearly unappreciative and taking advantage of your love for him.
3. He starts every other line with “I’m sorry I can’t be this person for you…” While it may be very sweet at first to hear your honey tell you he wishes he could be more for you, it can get old fast. If he’s always making excuses for why he’s not what you want or need, it’s time to reflect on why you’re still with him. Many women think they can change men, which never works. The only way people change is of their own volition, and the best women can do is to be a source of inspiration for them.
4. When his goals in life revolve around waiting for your successes. Being supportive of one another’s achievements and successes is a wonderful part of a healthy relationship. But when it’s your successes- going back to school, getting a raise, being promoted- upon which he bases his actions, your relationship is probably in trouble. Both partners need to have their separate goals and achievements in life to maintain the balance in a relationship. If he’s riding on the coattails of your career and financial successes, you can be sure you deserve someone who rather than drains you, enhances the quality of your life.
5. When the only time you receive compliments from him is when you feed him the line or have to wheedle it out of him. When two people are into one another, and there is mutual respect and attraction, the appreciation and compliments come organically. If the only time he dishes out a positive comment about you is after you’ve poked and prodded him to say something nice about your appearance, achievements, or efforts- it’s a lost cause. Better to find that someone who appreciates you for being you, who just can’t wait to tell you something sweet.
6. When there’s always some reason for his lack of success. Excuses are commonly used in place of action, and often come from fear or laziness. If you’ve been with your partner for awhile, and instead of moving forward with his life, education, or career, he always has an excuse for why he can’t do any of those things, you’re involved with an underachiever. There is no obstacle or challenge too small to serve as an excuse for someone who does not wish to move forward in life. Do yourself a favor and start setting your sights on men who are too busy achieving their goals to make lame excuses.