The Signs Are There
When a relationship ends, it’s often easy to look back and pinpoint the moment things started going wrong. There was probably a warning sign, or two, that things may not work out. These warning signs or relationship red flags are super common and yet we tend to ignore them as they’re happening time and time again.
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Instead of brushing off the signals that someone you’re dating just isn’t the one, it’s important to pay close attention to the person’s behavior early on. Here are five relationship red flags that are not only quite typical, but are also ones that most of us ignore. You’ve been warned.
1. Avoiding the Relationship Talk
Sure, you don’t need to pour out your hopes and dreams about partnership on a first date, but you should be able to have a thoughtful conversation about what you want and need with a potential partner pretty early on. This way, you can see if you’re on the same page about where you’d like your relationship to go. If he or she can’t talk candidly about where things are headed, chances are things are headed nowhere fast.
2. Constantly Bringing Up Someone Else’s Opinion
Having a mind of your own is a super attractive quality. If a potential paramour starts every sentence with, “My mom thinks…” or, “My best friend says…” it’s a sign that he or she can’t think for themselves. You want to be with someone who can stand on their own two feet and doesn’t rely on the opinions of others for making life decisions. Nip this one in the bud early. Otherwise, you’ll likely have a third person in your relationship moving forward.
3. Playing the Dating Game
While you can’t expect someone you’re seeing to text or call you back right away because, you know, he or she does have a life outside of you, you should assume that he or she won’t make you wait around for an unreasonable amount of time. We’ve all heard of the “three-day rule” and the advice that you shouldn’t look too eager too soon. But games are for children. Someone who’s actually serious about you isn’t going to play with your heart.
4. Being Secretive About Friends
Are they avoiding introducing you to their close pals? You may excuse this behavior by saying it’s too soon or that it’s too hard to coordinate schedules for a get-together. But if the person really likes you, he or she would be stoked to show you off to their crew. Rather than try to justify this conduct, take it as a clear sign that you’re probably not going to be in that person’s life for long.
5. Making You Feel Like You Need to Be Someone You’re Not
We all go out of our way to impress a new partner, but sometimes we may feel pressured to change who we are—or even hide parts of ourselves—in order to make it seem like we’re the ideal person for whoever we’re pursuing. This pressure may not come from the person you’re dating; it could totally be self-induced. In any case, if you feel like you can’t be completely yourself from the get-go, this is a sign that you’re chasing after someone who may not be right for you.