Sometimes I get callers who ask me the question “Is my husband having an affair?” When they want me to look at the Tarot, I shuffle the cards and lay them out. While I’m doing so, I will occasionally ask them why they suspect this. Usually, they don’t have a firm reason, but say they just have a “feeling.”
We’ve all had those “feelings,” and sometimes I think that it is the psychic ability that we all possess that has come to the fore. Also, sometimes, it could be that there are surface indicators that we don’t consciously challenge, but that we unconsciously sense aren’t quite right.
Some of these indicators could be the lies that men who are having an affair tell. There are quite a few, but below are some of the most common ones.
1. “I have to work late.” One reason this works so well for so long is that in many jobs overtime is quite common, even unpaid overtime for white-collar or management positions. The “having to work late” lie also covers “working on the weekend” and “working on the holidays.” (One man I saw got drunk with his girlfriend on Christmas in a motel room while his wife and kids waited at home to open the presents.)
2. “We just can’t afford it right now.” This one’s for wives who don’t keep an eye on the couple’s checking account and charge records. This is more common than you might think, and occurs because the man is, naturally, spending money on his girlfriend – gifts, hotel rooms, trips and entertainment aren’t free, you know! So he’s right, it’s not affordable right now – because he’s paying for those things for her!
3. “I need to look good to get that promotion at work.” And then comes the time when a man suddenly gets interested in looking better – working out at a gym, having dental work done that he’s put off for years, buying more fashionable clothes and so forth. One woman I read for was delighted that her husband had started doing these things, and had even helped him! Of course, she was later absolutely enraged that he had done all these things for the “other woman” and not for the reason he had given.
4. “Not tonight, I’m too tired.” Sure, he’s too tired for sex – he’s been doing double or triple what he used to with you with her! Sometimes, to justify this in his own mind and to help bury the guilt, he pairs this with the “You’ve let yourself go” lie. It carries a double punch.
5. “Wives aren’t allowed to go along.” This covers those business trips and conventions (particularly in places like Las Vegas and New Orleans) that have potential for a lot of after-meeting fun activities. I’ll bet if you asked his boss, you’d find that wives are allowed to accompany their husbands on many of these.
I’m absolutely positive that many men do work overtime because they have to and that, in this economy, some things are just not affordable. Also, some jobs do require the applicant to have a very polished and youthful image. The testosterone level does drop, and the sex drive is not as strong as maybe it used to be.
However, take a careful look at all of these statements above, and add them together with what you actually feel. Do you feel that he still loves you very much? Do you feel that he really would give you that frivolous gift you would like, if he could? But most of all, does he still give you the attention that he used to? Does he seem to honestly care about your opinion and what you feel?
If you can say yes to the above, then don’t worry about unfaithfulness and lies. But if you are uncertain of the true answers, then you might want to look closer at the lies that some men may tell.