I bet that everyone knows at least one guy, who seems to be such a nice guy… on the surface, that is. In reality he is a selfish jerk, who tends to make you feel bad. A truly nice guy is generally consistently helpful, without expecting payment in return; is reliable, loyal, has a high sense of integrity, a great heart and just makes you feel happy for having him in his life. Because of this, they are generally liked by everyone and have a wide variety of people they get along with.
Now, let’s move to the closet jerk. Closet jerks always appear to be nice. Of course, they don’t share a whole lot about themselves with others, they tend to be kind of anti-social, are usually self-centered and shine by being victims, angry or so disappointed. Here is how one can spot a closet jerk:
- They tell you they are nice guys and blame their shortcomings on being nice! The closet jerk will whine and complain about having been cheated on and left and he can’t understand why. No woman really understands them, and the only reason they are so lonely is because they are such nice guys!
- They will fix whatever is broken on your car or home, when “they have a chance.” Which is never. Their own projects and activities tend to come first. Which brings us to number 3.
- They are selfish. And then claim that they are selfish because they have been used so many times. Either way, they will justify why they can’t accompany you, spend time with you, or help you out when you need it.
- They make you feel guilty, by being in a bad mood or having a bad attitude if they do accompany to a thing you wanted to do. They will show up to help out, while complaining about how hard they are working, that it was too hot, too cold, and how they worked harder than everyone else.
- The closet jerk needs to make himself sound great. Because they usually lack self-confidence, they’ll manage to throw in little tidbits that make them sound awesome. This includes their salary, a title, expensive toys, etc.
- They can only function in one type of environment. Chances are, the few friends they do still have, have been around for too many years to really care. Especially pay attention to those guys who hang out in sub-cultures, or scenes that are unconventional. They generally have no variety of friends, but only hang with people from the same clique/group they have been hanging out in since they were teenagers.
- They are stuck being a boy. Those guys have a tendency to go on about the “good old times,” and because they never changed scenes or environments, they never grew emotionally and spiritually.
- Their past relationships have predominantly been with psychos or considerably younger girls. This is because closet jerks need to appear as saviors and heroes. They need to be admired, they need someone who makes them look good and cannot form meaningful or deep relationships with anyone who is genuine and real.
- They are judgmental and have a sense of superiority. They go on and on about having been bullied or judged when they were younger and now they do the same to anyone who doesn’t fit the exact mold they have created. Of course, the mold is usually based on superficial things, i.e. hair color, style and so on.
- They are just not fun to be around. Once the “nice guy” shell falls off and you are stuck spending time with them, you find that you feel just as miserable as they do. They tend to be downers and are dangerously unaware. Because in their heads they are nice guys!
What do you think – what’s the best way to spot a closet jerk?