10 Ways to Know You’re in a Toxic Relationship

If You’re in One, Get Out of it!

Is your relationship bad news? Is it toxic—or even abusive? Here are 10, telltale signs you should look for to know if you’re in too deep:

10. Do you worry more about your partner than you do about yourself? Is that level of concern on par with the worry you have for your kiddos? Remember, you’re dating a grown person, and they should have (and use) the tools to navigate their life.

9. Do you miss who you used to be? The silly, courageous and vibrant person who entered this relationship—are they still there?

8. Is your partner supportive? I don’t mean supporting you, I mean encouraging you to do your best. Do you feel like being a better person when you’re with them?

7. Do they make you feel small? Words can hurt almost as much as fists. Do their words encourage or discourage you?

6. Speaking of fists—it’s never ok for someone to touch you for any reason than for love.

5. If drugs or alcohol are present in a relationship, do be sure that they’re recreational or manageable. If you ever wonder what your friends/family would say if they saw your partner do XYZ, it’s probably time to go. Also, a person’s addiction is theirs, not yours. You can’t make it go away.

4. Is the sex good? Honestly, this is important. Connecting physically is so very important. Being touch-starved in a relationship is worse than being alone. Make sure you’re being treasured and loved.

3. Do you feel free to pursue your own goals and dreams? A good partner will beam at you with pride at whatever activity is your thing. Whether it’s cat shows or weight-lifting, your thing is what makes you shine. Do they bask in your glow?

2. Are you proud and supportive of them? This one goes both ways. Do you give them high fives for a job well done? Do you encourage and cheer them on?

1. The most important thing I’ve found that’s necessary for a non-toxic relationship is this: Do you like your partner? Not love, not lust, but like. Do you enjoy their company? Do you think they’re funny, interesting and sweet? These things are vital to helping love grow!

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