Once upon a time, the man in my life committed an unbelievable holiday blunder. He had forgotten to buy me a Christmas gift. His gifting solution was appalling. He could have fessed up. He might have presented me a love note with a promise of a shopping trip later. No. He rustled a bottle of the finest Scotch Whiskey from his personal stash, wrapped it and presented it. Problem? I don’t drink alcohol.
That relationship quickly went into oblivion. Let me share some other things men just should not do during the holidays, unless they want to see real discord in their romantic lives.
1. At parties, have the good sense to mainly flirt with your current partner, wife, mate, girl friend. Holiday events are not the occasion to show the rest of woman-kind what they are missing. It’s fine to socialize, even if your nature is warm and friendly, but unless you’re a real dolt, you know where to stop.
2. Don’t buy your woman a household cleaning appliance, unless she has put that item at the top of her list. Reach into your creative sense and find the perfect gift to suit her personality. Think love and romance.
3. Don’t tune in every November/December sporting event. Seeing her guy ensconced in the man cave, feet up, beer in hand while she plans and executes holiday events turns any woman off. Share yourself. Lend a hand.
4. If your mother is the hands-down best cook on Earth, forego telling your woman this for the 3,000th time. She didn’t make your favorite holiday pie? Get over it. Express appreciation for whatever cooking she did.
5. Don’t overbook yourself with guys’ nights out, drinking parties, or other engagements that make you inaccessible.
6. Don’t track her efficiency with Blackberry, iPhone, computer, or stop watch. Making the holidays bright takes the energy of a three-legged cat in a sandbox. When she’s juggling in-laws, family, job, kids, and bringing joy to the world, cut her some slack.
7. If you want a happy woman in your life, take ownership of some shopping chores. Don’t sit back and relax while she’s running like a mad woman to buy for your friends, co-workers, and family. Get out there, dude. Make a list, check it twice, hit the stores.
8. It’s a bad idea to drink that one more cocktail that puts you over the line between good cheer and three sheets to the wind.
9. It’s a mistake to replace loving romance with seasonal chaos. Make efforts to be a couple. Orchestrate time to renew your friendship, refresh your spirit together, and re-bond. Create an island of tranquil nurturing in the ocean of holiday upheaval.
10. Never assume she knows what you’re thinking. Tell her how to please you and ask how you can light up her world. Admire her appearance. Acknowledge her value.
Not all men are as loutish as my Scotch-giving guy. Focus on your woman during this happiest, most hectic time. A quick kiss, a helping hand, a bit of personal attention is as effective and appreciated as the most glamorous package under the tree. And the price is affordable.