Looking for a quick love fix in just ninety days? Get a puppy. They’ll always need you, always give you unconditional love, and they’ll never ask you for a new cell phone or to pay for them to attend college or therapy to blame all their mistakes on you.
However, if you’re looking to get on the road to love, there are some techniques that you can use:
1. You have to love yourself. Commit to being happy and focusing on doing your positives. Don’t go home and turn on the TV! Reward yourself with an activity that you’ve been putting off because you feel burnt out, or you’re just not prioritizing it. No time at night? Get up an hour early, get your sneakers on and go for a walk. Start the day with a peaceful reflection that gets the heart pumping and gives your mind clarity. This easy “me” time will help you ease into your day with a peaceful and open heart. Exercise will release endorphins and give you a glow. It’s literally good for your heart.
2. Accentuate the positive. Clean out your wardrobe of items that no longer fit, don’t make you feel good, or cover up your shape. What are you shaking your head for? Exercise and dressing to accentuate your positives is not as shallow as you may be thinking. When you look and feel good about yourself, it raises your confidence level. Confidence is the sexiest quality a woman or man can have!
3. Flirt every day! You wouldn’t want to go run a marathon without training. Exercise that mouth! Talk to people and have fun. When you’re putting out the energy that you’re open and approachable, you’ll never know who you’ll meet. The more you flirt, the more natural it will become, and the more that that energy will attract people to you.
4. Find your mantra. Start every day by committing to your self-discovery and finding love. Remind yourself with little notes on your mirror or in your car: i.e., “I am open to love, and love is there for me,” or just a simple feel-good message: “Hello, gorgeous!”
5. Smile! You’re on live camera. As humans, more than 55% (some reports say more) of our communication is non-verbal, meaning our body language. Wouldn’t you rather talk to someone who is smiling? By entering a room with a smile on your face, you give an instant impression of being confident, and add an air of welcome that can brighten up the atmosphere.
6. Take a fresh approach! Now that you’re a happy, confident person, take down that old online dating profile. Put up a new profile with a new nickname that reflects the positive, confident, new you. Broaden your search and break out of that box you’ve put yourself in by limiting your options – get rid of those thoughts that anyone is “out of your league.” It can be a numbers game. Don’t wait for one person to respond. It’s about marketing yourself if you’re pitching yourself online. Try more than one site and more than one approach.
7. Speed dating is great practice. Just like a day of wine tasting instantly sharpens your palette, speed dating gets your dating stories on the fast track. If you need a buddy to team up with, do it. This is a great way to identify what is important to you. Is it someone’s job? In three minutes, is that all you spoke about, or did you get right to the point by aggressively saying things like “I’m looking for something serious” instead of just letting it naturally flow? Do this at least once a month, and note your progress.
8. Keep track of your journey. There’s nothing better than a gold star. When you’re in the process of changing your life, it can be hard to take a step back when you hit a plateau. By keeping track of your progress, you have provided yourself a place to reflect, appreciate and learn from the steps you’re taking. Are you giving everyone a chance, even people you’re not attracted to? After the first six weeks, dating should become deeper. You should take stock of your love journey and plot your next step.
9. Make it fun. Go out with your friends for a casual night of flirting. There can be safety in numbers, and being out in public is a good way of reaffirming your commitment to finding love. When you put it out there into the universe, you will be surprised what comes back to you. Just like looking for a job, after a while people may have forgotten that you are searching, so let your friends know that you’re dating, and enjoy the compliments now that you have stories to share about your progress.
10. Join some singles activities groups. You’ll learn something new, expand your social circle and, most of all, you’ll know everyone is on an even playing field.
Good luck in your love journey. Remember that you deserve to be loved, and the first step is letting go of bad habits from the past and loving yourself.