DreamCast: Standing Up for Herself

Barbie from Leesburg, Virginia writes:

This recurring dream occurs in three snapshots, always in the same order: In the first, my estranged husband is yelling at me and shouting to someone that I am a crazy person. He is trying to persuade my child to leave me. The dream then moves on to a snapshot of my child’s school peers, where I am trying to convince them that it’s best to leave him where he is. All through this, my child is hiding in a corner. And the third snapshot has me reporting for work. My boss is angry because I have missed days and tells me to report to his office. When I report, he is packing up and moving out. He ignores me completely. I am left standing inside his empty office.

These scenarios have occurred multiple times — always in the same order, sometimes with different backdrops, but the same theme. Spouse says I am crazy, school peers debate my child’s fate, and my boss leaves me at an empty office, never even talking to me.

I don’t know if it has anything to do with the fact that I have never been able to stand up to either my estranged husband or this boss. I just wish it would go away and I’d have some peace.

Hello Barbie,

Your inability to stand up for yourself is indeed being played out in your dreams. Well-directed anger can be empowering. It’s time you pushed back (verbally, of course) and stopped being a doormat!

In the dreams, the order of the snapshots reveals their level of importance or intensity in your life. First is your angry spouse, next is the issue over your child’s school and last comes the boss who abandoned you. First, let’s analyze your estranged husband. Does he make you feel crazy or act irrationally in waking life? Or perhaps you feel nuts for marrying him. Basically, I think he represents your feelings of disempowerment. He may also be a part of yourself that’s critical of your own efforts.

As for the child, the one hiding in a corner is actually you. Feeling little and inadequate, you hide your true feelings from those who challenge you. However, as you likely know, suppressing your feelings will only ignite a volcanic eruption later on when you can’t take it anymore.

As for your boss, have you abandoned your dreams and goals? In addition to needing to stand up to him in waking life, you might need to take charge of your destiny. When you’ve expressed what’s truly inside of you, honestly and directly, these snapshot scenarios will go away.

Sweet dreams,


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