I keep having a recurring dream that really bothers me. I lost my husband to complications from a bone marrow transplant 2-1/2 years ago. Since his passing, I have had several dreams in which I see him dead but he comes back to life. I am so happy to see him and am excited that he is alive again. But soon in the dream he tells me he wants a divorce and he is going to leave me for another woman. I plead for him not to leave me but he tells me to get over it because he is going to leave and be with the other woman. We never had marital problems and divorce was never anything we ever considered. I ask him in the dream how he can possibly leave the kids and I, but he is very curt and cruel saying he’s leaving us. Any insight as to what this means and why I keep having this dream? It is always so vivid and leaves me quite shaken when I wake up.
From Jan in Austin, Texas
My first thought is that your dreams reveal what you may think are unacceptable feelings you have about your husband’s death. He has indeed come “back to life,” as you put it, in the afterlife. Even so, you may still feel hurt and even betrayed over his departure. Perhaps you don’t feel entitled to feel angry with him because, of course, he had no control over his death – he didn’t mean to hurt you. So you’ve dreamed up another woman as the cause of him leaving you. It gives you an emotional outlet to express these “unacceptable” feelings. Does that make sense?
Another thought: The other woman is a substitute for God. In other words, you’re angry with “the powers that be” for taking your husband away from you. You may feel bad or guilty that you’re angry with God, so you created the other woman as the target for your anger.
In truth, another woman is actually a part of you that’s trying to help you heal. In a meditation, picture her in your mind and ask her what she’d like to tell you. The answer may be quite enlightening.