Positive Self-Talk Over Cruelty
Do you beat yourself down because you think it will somehow or make you do better? When this type of thinking takes over, its pain-based lies can hit you like an emotional tidal wave, pull you under, and essentially drown you. People who are horribly mean to themselves tend to be just as critical and cruel to others, and it can turn into a vicious cycle. However that cycle can be broken by making an effort to be kind and positive to those around you, but it has to start with you being positive to yourself.
Stop the Cycle
As children, we often internalize hurtful, critical words and even mean looks from authority figures. Some caregivers believe that yelling or cutting down a kid might “toughen them up.”
Nope. It has the opposite effect. It is as though when kids become adults, they pick up the whip left behind by those who were cruel to them and turn it on others. We should encourage children and teach them how to succeed. Treating children with compassion and understanding rather than shaming them leads to better educated, empathetic, and flexible adults who are able to adapt to the world, and weather the storms of uncertainty that accompany growing up.
Talk Yourself Up, Not Down
Do you tell yourself you are a failure or call yourself names? Cruel self-talk does not reflect your reality. Maybe you feel you’ll never motivate the change you want without saying brutally mean things to yourself, but that doesn’t ultimately help.
So how can you talk yourself up rather than down?
Talk to your negative thoughts. Ask yourself if what they are saying is true. Is it really true that nothing good has ever happened for you?
To help change your inner cruelty to kindness, write down your inner negative litany, then beside that column, write down the positive and present tense version of it. For example: Change the refrain of “I’m not good enough,” to “I’m always good enough!”
Now keep that positive list available to you where you can see it and every time your inner critic gets louder, to cancel and replace its negative, false statements with your new positive truths. Eventually your inner cruelty will begin to quiet down, because you’ve heard it and done something helpful about it.
Positive self-talk does not always come easy to us, but there are things you can bring into your space to help start your day off on the bright, positive note that you’re looking for. Here are a few things that you can do:
- Begin your day with a 10-15 minute guided meditation.
- Place crystals like quartz, black tourmaline, rose quartz, pyrite, and amethyst around your bedroom and living space to help promote positive thoughts and remove negative energy.
- Find an oracle or affirmation deck that speaks to you, and begin each day with an uplifting card draw.
- Start your day with an inspiring podcast that makes you happy.
- Keep a gratitude journal.
- Contact a psychic or a licensed therapist.
Negativity is hard to combat sometimes, and learning to talk yourself up rather than down can be even harder. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help if you need it.
Reflect What You Want to Hear and Feel
Self-praise does help and it’s proven to work. Literally stand in front of the mirror every morning and say out loud what you want everyone to say to you. Tell yourself that you love you, you will take care of you, and you are there for you! Honestly acknowledge what is good about you and your life. When you want to create positive change, tell yourself that you are beautiful, beloved, successful, wealthy, and healthy. Whatever you want or need, name it and claim it. It will certainly be yours.
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