Seeking Healing from Emotional Pain
Emotional pain can block your good. Pain lies and distorts the truth. Studies indicate that emotional trauma changes the brain, making it all but impossible to receive healing words, even though they can really help.
Healers, be they psychotherapists, counselors, psychic readers, ministers, or even just wise, loving, and supportive friends, tend to come from a caring place, wanting only to help wounded clients or seekers find their way back to wholeness. It may take some work, time, and patience, but most seekers find their efforts are worth it.
Perhaps you yourself have acted in the role of healer for a family member or friend, or maybe you have sought healing. In fact, during their lives, most people will experience the role of healer as well as that of seeker.
It’s wonderful when just the right thing is said in a healing session and a swift, positive resolution is achieved (which is gratifying to everyone involved) but sometimes, even the most gifted healers, intuitive or otherwise, can misinterpret, misunderstand, or even inadvertently have their own filters get in the way, resulting in a disconnect between healer and seeker. Sometimes people just don’t understand one another. It happens. But just as good healers must continue to work on themselves in order to better provide for their clients and seekers, so must seekers who want healing.
Emotional Pain in Blinding
Maybe you’ve experienced the darker side of pain’s machinations or witnessed it in another. Pain fights hard to keep people hurting. It’s difficult to understand why that happens, but it does. Let’s put light on some of this darkness.
It’s true that all good helpers, professional or otherwise, treat those who want help with as much love and kindness, compassion, and patience as they can give. They entered into their work to bring as much healing as they can to all who ask. They also realize that no helper has a drop of control, nor should they, in what people do with the insights given, but some troubled seekers work hard to exert severe control over their helpers.
For example, healers can say the most positive and true things, but the wounded person refuses to accept them, as though they cannot trust that good can come into their lives.
Emotional Pain Shackles You
People caught in pain, fear, and negative thinking can twist what is heard into something horrific, even putting awful words that were never said into the healer’s mouth. This negativity seems to be black or white, with no in-between—it’s all or nothing. The words heard have to be 100% what the seeker thought should have been said, or everything is a total failure. This depressive thinking appears as knee-jerk automatic as it is fiercely grim.
Or as soon as a boulder of pain is rolled off their path through positive insights, the seeker will roll another one in as though they are trying to stop themselves. When positive options are mentioned, the seeker will slam doors on them. For example, if they hear that they may well meet someone to love, they immediately shut this possibility down by saying they NEVER go out! Or they say they don’t believe it! This is how pain keeps the wounded in agony.
At War with Healing
Inexplicably, sometimes people ask for help they don’t really want. To paraphrase a quote from “My Fair Lady,” they ask the healer very nicely, then go out and do precisely what they want. Or they argue the healer down in an attempt to force them to say what they want to hear by handing them an invisible script, expecting them to adhere to it, including the resolution they want, or else the seeker’s wrath will be unleashed and they’ll try to make the healer pay somehow, including hang ups, raging and cursing, complaints, or harmful negative reviews. Healers understand that sometimes certain seekers might be impaired, either through alcohol, chemicals taken, medicine not taken, or simply having other emotional/mental troubles. If helpers continue working with these particular seekers, they may pay a dear price in compromise in that they must walk through live minefields and speak accordingly while still staying in their integrity, because they must address things very carefully. Sometimes it’s better for both parties to just peacefully walk away.
Some seekers insist they can handle the truth, but then react badly even when the truth is given with a whole jar of sugar. It’s like they know the answer can’t be exactly what they insist on in that moment, but they want a magic wand to wish it all away and make it better. Often, ways are given to help the seeker attain what they want. But some people don’t want to do any work and it’s back to square one, along with blaming the helper when things didn’t work out because they didn’t want to do their part. These behaviors are often heart-breaking for both the healer and the seeker, because pain continues to hold sway.
Let Healing In
Is love the answer? Yes. But love by its very nature will not force healing. Yet if allowed, healing can often come in an instant, an “aha” moment, a twinkling. As seekers, our best hope to overcome emotional pain and receive our good is to let healing in.
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