It’s an age-old question, when it comes to dating and relating, what should matter the most, money or love? Can money conquer all or should passion be your push? Is there such a thing as happily ever after if the spark never ignites but the bond and the buck are strong? Maybe, with a little focus and energy it could be possible to capture both.
With today’s economic crisis more palpable than ever, it begs the question of should financial status and security play a more heavy-handed role in picking and sticking with your mate? Should people be more prudent in love, or is that more of a reason than ever to seek inner happiness? For those in a committed relationship, you can find yourself contemplating pushing things forward a few beats sooner than planned in an effort to save money. But are you really doing the right thing? Here are three ways to balance your outlook:
Plan a financial move
It’s important to stop and think seriously before jumping into a cohabitation situation before you’re ready to bear such a load. While you may go a long way in shrinking expenses, you might kill a good relationship by making a move too soon and for the wrong reasons. It makes sense to first assess what your long-term plans are, financial standings aside. Are you both on the same track towards a committed relationship, or are you only considering the short-term upsides of reducing financial burdens? If you’re unable to even broach those tough conversations you may be skipping forward too soon.
What matters most
Passion can promise many things like sexual fulfillment, companionship, someone to spoon with, an ongoing booster shot to your self-esteem, and everything in between. But what happens when you try to relate on matters outside of the bedroom and curbside smooching? Are you able to relate on other levels? Maybe he’s knocking your socks off in the sack but is not able to hang onto a job. Perhaps she can make your heart race but when your cardiac unit resumes a normal beat, she’s not equipped to comfort you after a stressful day at the office.
We’ve all been privy to people that mate and date for money. The girl that scoops up a sugar daddy to secure a fiscally sound future not accessible within her own means, or the cabana boy that hooks a wealthy socialite to put an end to his beach bound existence. One has to ponder if you can really get to happily ever after if your intentions are less than admirable.
When dating and mating winds up being more about balance sheets than true connections it might be time to stop and examine if you’re in love or just orchestrating a financial transaction. You need to determine what matters most, collecting an army of diamond baubles, or having a mate that will support you in the midst of a crisis. The answer to this question lies within your own comfort zone, but think before you commit. Waking up every day of your life next to a personified wallet can only get you so far on a journey towards fulfillment and happiness. In going after a breadwinner to answer the call of your shopping whims, let the buyer and shopper beware.
What works for you
It is all about learning to strike a balance between money, love and passion. The reality is, if you can’t relate with your mate on some type of physical level the relationship may not sustain itself over time. When the worries and stresses of kids, finances, careers, families and more come into the picture, it can place unimaginable burdens on a union. There may be times when you can’t find a single thing to agree on, but you can “relate” physically.
Dig deep inside to discover what factors will be most important over time. Whether it’s financial security, contentment, hot passionate love or all of the above, make sure to consider what will be important as you transcend the decades of life.
Short-sided views in love now can lead to disappointments later. Can you envision yourself with your partner a year from now, and decade from now, and beyond? And if the answer is no, consider what that means for your future. Perhaps the Beatles summed it up best, “Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I’m 64…” Only you can decide what matters the most at the end of your day and ultimately your life.
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