It may not sound romantic, but dating is an investment – of time, money and most importantly, your precious thoughts and feelings! So before you go spending your personal capital on another person carelessly, it’s worth figuring out the odds of getting a good return!
Now naturally, everyone has different priorities. Whatever yours are however, answer these questions and you’ll at least have an idea of your prospective partner’s interest level. Determining where you stand as a result is entirely up to you!
1. When I’m around my date, I feel:
a) Comfortable and excited. My best qualities come out in a genuine way. (7)
b) Insecure and paranoid. My worst qualities shoot to the surface guaranteeing there’s no way they’ll like me. (0)
c) Let’s just put it this way: I’m me and it seems to be okay with them. (10)
d) Like we’re in an interview — it’s vetting time. (3)
2. My date’s reactions to me are:
a) Disinterested. They barely pay attention. (0)
b) Engaged. They ask questions and listen to my answers. (10)
c) Amusing. I can’t tell whether they’re witty or “always on,” but it’s entertaining. (7)
d) Generic. I don’t feel like I’m learning that much. (3)
3. Our sparks can best be described as:
a) An atomic explosion. It was sex at first sight! (5)
b) Alight. We’re dying to rip each other’s clothes off, after a little more time together! (10)
c) Kindling. I think there’s attraction, it just might not be mutual. (3)
d) Not, well… sparking. Friends first is good though, right? (0)
4. When it comes to expressing their interest, my date has been:
a) Open about their intentions. Proposing activities, asking me on dates. (10)
b) Luke warm. Slow to return calls, emails, texts, but eventually gets in touch. (5)
c) Stand-offish. They say they’re not ready to settle down. (3)
d) Interest? Let’s put it this way, when I reach out, they’re not saying no! (0)
5. When it comes to their relationship/romantic past, my date is:
a) Chock-full of nice things to say concerning any exes that have come up. (7)
b) Apparently attracted to crazies… they say everyone they’ve dated is nuts! (0)
c) Seemingly normal. A few long-term relationships, some dates, etc. (10)
d) Inexperienced. My date has never had a “mate!” (3)
6. If I tap into my gut, I’d say my date is ______ getting to know me better.
a) really enjoying (10)
b) killing time by (3)
c) not actually interested in (0)
d) slowly but surely (5)
7. When our next date enters my mind, I feel ________.
a) Excited. This has potential! (10)
b) Certain. This is the one! (3)
c) Okay… it’s nice to have someone to go out with. (5)
d) Off. I know it’s not right, but I like having something to do.. (0)
Are you looking for the right mate or just any mate? If rather than flying solo, just anyone will do, it’s not your date that needs some work, it’s your self-esteem! The right person will make you feel desired and respected as well as appreciated. Plus, they’ll want to get to know you, and share of themselves as well! If you insist upon dating for the sake of it, beware of giving away too much of yourself too fast — people have to earn your trust to know your inner truths. But don’t hide who you are either. In the end, you’ll learn that being honest with everyone in your romantic life (including yourself) is what counts!
We all have our issues… and it seems like you and/or your date are in the process of sorting some of those out. Proceeding with caution, however, can be the best thing for any potential relationship. People take time to truly get to know each other, so just because you’re not having the lightning bolt on date two, doesn’t mean it’s a bust. That said, it’s important to remain authentic about who you are and what you want. If you find yourself feeling like dating this person is a straight up bad move, stop. If you’re not sure what their interest level is (and you are sure what yours is), ask. In order to see someone with any degree of seriousness, you need to feel good about it — and know that they do too.
Are they worthy? Are you crazy? The two of you like and respect each other and have at least a similar level of interest in taking things up a notch. So go ahead, fire away! Continue to be open about your concerns and your desires and pay close attention to the signals your potential paramour sends. Usually, they’re giving us more information than we let ourselves see at first… but with the confidence you’re feeling and the cautious optimism you’re expressing, it seems like you’ve got your head screwed on straight enough to take it all in and maybe – just maybe – to make it work for good!
Wondering when your true love will come? What’s holding you back? Talk about it!