Sex Q&A: She Said I’m a Bad Kisser

Jerod writes:

I have been trying to date this girl, Michelle, and I think she sort of likes me. But, I found out last night that my ex-girlfriend has been telling some of the girls at my work (we all work at the same joint), that I’m a really bad kisser. I asked a female friend about it, and she claims women will judge whether or not to sleep with you based on how good you kiss. What’s a good technique?

Dear Jerod,

I feel that in this situation your ex has been attempting to tarnish your image by spreading a bit of mischief via the rumor mill. It’s your ex’s aggressiveness towards you, more than the rumors about your kissing ability, that have contributed to Michelle’s reluctance to go out with you. But I see that changing.

I find that women have a variety of criteria by which they gauge a man’s potential in the bedroom, and kissing is definitely a big one. Perhaps because it’s an important erogenous zone … And though each woman has her own preferences for what constitutes a ‘good’ kisser, there are a few guidelines that can turn you into a true champion of this intoxicating art.

First, kissing must be done with absolute passion or it’s not worth doing. Always kiss like you mean it. Whether your kisses are gentle or deep, make sure that your partner feels your desire for her in the embrace.

Good kissers seem to have an intuitive sense as to what kind of kiss will knock their partner’s socks off, and what will turn them off. Pay attention to her responses as you kiss her, because women will almost always show you what to do. Sense her breathing against yours as she responds to your kisses. Is she relaxed, excited? And, if her kisses are gentle, be gentle with her. If she is ardent, then press her hotly in return. If she is playful, don’t be too serious yourself. Each woman’s desires will be different — there is no universal technique.

Do experiment with moves that may have worked for you in the past, like holding her face in your hands, or taking a break from her mouth and moving your lips over her cheek or ear. Try giving her a warm wet kiss at the side of her neck, then blow over it with your breath. As you experiment with these techniques, notice her breathing and whether she draws closer to you, or away.

You probably won’t kiss her perfectly at first, but that doesn’t matter. Practice is ever so much fun. If all else fails, ask her what she likes. She won’t be upset. In fact, she’ll probably be impressed that you dropped your ego to find out what she likes.

Be well,


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