Sex Q&A: How to Read Mixed Signals

Stephanie from Alabama asks:

I’m having boy issues. Normally, I would be the type to avoid relationships and such. But now I’m confident, so I’m flirting with almost every guy I think is attractive. I think that I have a great personality and that I’m pretty, but at the same time it seems that all guys want nowadays is sex. Should I keep flirting with guys and not give them what they want or should I get the experience?

Liam’s Response:

Greetings, Stephanie. First, let me congratulate you on your new-found interest in the game of amore. Confidence and self-respect are key to any sane and solid foray into the realm of romance. Without them one will flounder and fall prey to the jackals at every turn. It’s always best to work on one’s own self, before ever deciding to attempt to become part of a couple. And even when it comes to casual sex, it’s the hang ups, the insecurities and uncertainties left unexamined, that make a mess of everything. We all have fears and flaws, but a clear knowledge of your own issues will contribute a great deal to your ultimate success in any romantic endeavor. Good for you on having broken out of your cocoon in order to explore the possibilities.

From now on it’s best to remember that it’s all a show. It’s a ritual… a drama… and it’s virtually impossible to say with any kind of certainty why we seek what we seek and how we know what we know. On a very rudimentary level, it’s just genetics and chemistry; the drives sublime and primordial. But we are complicated apes. The answer to your question will be unique to your personality. To your style and your own unconscious goals. I have to wonder a bit as I consider it. You seem to want a serious commitment on one level while harboring some keen sexual curiosity on another, and I feel that you’re confused because the different aspects of your personality have very different needs. Let me assure you that there’s nothing wrong with that. For some reason, we like to think of ourselves as very singular beings, all neatly categorized and contained. The truth is we’re anything but. We are fluid. We are raw energy, always in motion, with myriad aspects of Self. Your confusion with the situation just shows that you are paying attention to you.

All I can really say is: why can’t you have the best of both worlds? Why does it have to be one or the other? Just go on out there and follow your body and your heart. Take the time to really experience the person you’re with at any given moment. Some guys, you might be very into on a purely sexual level, while other guys might interest you on many different levels. Some you might only ever see once or twice. And some you will date without going anywhere near the bedroom for a long time. And still others might evolve into close but platonic friends. The point is it’s all cool. I’ve known many a confident woman who had her boy toys on one hand while also maintaining a relationship or two with other men she didn’t sleep with as she took her time considering them for a serious long- haul. It’s all Lady’s Choice, as it always is, and women who conduct their lives this way are often seen as lucrative properties to obtain. Confidence and control are valuable commodities in this world. You already have good intuition; you just need to learn to trust it. Life is a feast, and it’s time for you to partake.


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6 thoughts on “Sex Q&A: How to Read Mixed Signals

  1. Trish

    Liam’s right get your self organized but don’t deny yourself a little fun. Your heart and body will know who to “play” with when you are ready.

  2. George funshmann

    Just as i love beautiful ladies & would like being around them i feel scared doing that. I usuall feel hesitant. Could this be any thing to do with my past encounters? How can i outgrow this and possibly take the initiative? Since i’m contemplating marriage. thanks

  3. Aida Bon

    Hi Liam, my favourite Psychic. Too bad I cannot reach Stephanie. I would send her my hilarious book: MY MEN, MY LOVERS, MY GIGOLO’S AND….I! The last sentence of the book is:
    One thing is for sure, Matthew, my handsome, gorgeous, patient, humorous and spiritual Gigolo is 41 and Amanda is 72 and still going strong! Love Aida/Amanda
    You can’t touch the same water that passes in a river twice so, enjoy the flow.
    greetings from Your big headed monkey. In this column we are complicated apes. What are we next?

  4. Sally Valentine

    Liam, I always look forward to your comments! You are very insightful and your advice has helped me so much. Thank you for your wise words.


  5. Rose Cocca

    i am a not going to impress any man…i have one who i think is my soulmate and that is it for more men for me..i have two good one why should i trade in past and one in the present..i am a one women man…once my mind is made up about my soulmate that that that is it….i know he change for the good ..WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES..but i will take him the way he is and nothing more…when i love somebody i dont throw him away..i keep him for life….if i only can see him face to face that would make me very…no past..just future…i might talk with other men..that does not mean im flirting with them….i love to make people laugh ..that is my style..if i can make one person laugh..that make my day….my past is only future counts..for you and me…

  6. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500


    I agree with Liam on this……

    ….nothing ventured, nothing gained. The only way to swim is to get into the water, so to speak.
    So go enjoy life and all it has to offer……..and keep working on yourself and re-defining yourself along the way.

    We are all works in process…..and I do agree that we are constantly changing every single second….

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500


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