Red Responds: Reconnecting After 18 Years

Shae in Castle Rock writes:

I have reacquainted with the man I very much loved 18 years ago. We went our separate ways after 5 short months, but before we did, I became pregnant. I was involved with another man at the time and chose to stay in that relationship… My bad! I should have chosen him. I just didn’t think he was ready to be serious.

I found him again just a few months ago, and the torch we carried for each other is completely relit. I told him about his son, and he is excited to see me – and eventually meet his son. I am recently divorced from that very man I chose over him (he is in a 10-month relationship). We are going to see each other next week, and we both are so excited that we talk 10-15 times each day. It’s like we never left each other. But it has been 18 years…

Are we finally going to have that relationship we should have had so long ago? Or are we destined to just be friends in this life? I still love him very much, and he has said that he loves me. It was definitely special back then – and of course, since I am raising his son, I am very attached no matter what happens. Any vision for this very hopeful reunion?

Dear Shae,

Things in this life don’t always come together when we want them to, but they do have a way of coming together! This is just the beginning.

I see that the two of you do love each other, and that love is true. There is tremendous long-term potential that surrounds you both. However, don’t rush to commitment. Let things unfold, because you need to learn one another all over again. So take things slowly, and as they come – because you have each pursued very separate lives. This is a wonderful opportunity to come together, and as long as neither one of you pushes too hard, you’re likely to end up as man and wife.

Due to logistics and other normal considerations, this reunion is only the beginning of mapping out a whole new life path. But I really don’t see any challenges or complications that cannot be overcome. Even though both of you are excited, this relationship is primarily about the two of you, and only partly about your son. Father and son will get to meet, but I don’t know that your boy will ever see him as “Dad.” But a friendship will be built between those two, and the bonds they build will be warm.

Very few people get a second chance to find happiness with someone they once loved. Fortunately, both of you are going to make the most of this opportunity, and find happiness and success in your fairy-tale love.

Brightest Blessings!
Ext. 9226

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