Red Responds: Michael in Munich

Dear Red,

There is a man named Michael, who I had a very romantic and intense love relationship with that “ended” back at the start of June. I live in LA, he lives in Munich, Germany.

Now, when I say ended, what I really mean is that we decided to “break up” as a couple and do our best to be friends.

We’ve remained very much in touch with each other. We send text messages to each other several times a week (to let each other know that we are thinking of each other, sending support and so on), occasional emails, and have a “catch up” phone call every 3 weeks to a month or so. We spoke on the phone yesterday, for about an hour and a half and the conversation was amazing… so open and without jealousy or negative emotion. It feels so obvious that we each just want the other to be truly happy.

At the same time, in yesterday’s conversation, we both discussed that we miss each other and that there are so many times that I’ve wished he was here… He said it’s been on his mind a great deal too and there are moments that he thought about just “hopping a plane and showing up at my door” to surprise me. By the end of the conversation, it felt to me like we were both saying that maybe there is something “not done” between us romantically. I feel like I know him better, with more friendship, understanding and acceptance now than when we broke up back at the top of June… and I’m wondering if he and I are meant to “be together”…..either again for another round of romance as a couple (if only temporary)…..or more “permanently” as a “REAL” couple for a long time to come. There is no question that there is real love between us…

Is he going to surprise me and come to LA? If so, when? Is this a good idea? Do we belong together now and/or in the future, and for how long? Is he the guy for me or is there a “better” mate/life partner on his way to me and how soon will he be here? (and what’s his name, where will I meet him, what does he look like ;)?!

Thanks so much,

Janet in Los Angeles

Dear Janet,

There is something very much “undone” between you and Michael. If the logistical situation were different, we would most likely be discussing your marriage and family plans.

Unfortunately, getting and keeping the two of you in the same space is currently an issue. While he honestly would love to jump on a plane and have a whirlwind week or two with you, I don’t see him surprising you at your doorstep any time in the near future.

The two of you will continue to grow closer through the communication you do have, and your feelings for each other will intensify. Each of you will be longing for the other, while carrying on with your lives as you have been. Emotionally, it will get quite confusing for the two of you, wanting what you cannot reach out and touch.

With planning and effort, the two of you could manage to see each other once again, but it looks like a last go-round rather than a new beginning. While this would change the nature of your relationship, it would not completely negate the friendship that you two currently share. It is a bittersweet story; any way that I look at it.

As for “belonging together or not belonging together”, that is very rarely just a black and white question or answer. Yes, the two of you were meant to come together, but not necessarily stay together in a strictly romantic capacity. I don’t know why the powers-that-be do this to us mere mortals, but they do…

As for your mate/life partner, he’s out there, and you two will find each other. But you are going to have to wait roughly three years before he presents and you are truly ready to settle down. There is something about your career that you need to accomplish first. That is the path that leads you to this man. I wish I could give you more detail on that, but there is too much between now and then that has yet to happen, so I’m only getting a glimpse, and not the full story. I hope you like tall, dark, sculpted and handsome! There’s something very refined about his demeanor, and he seems to be extremely intelligent with at least some higher education.

As for a name…well, when I do get them, they are usually close but very rarely correct. It’s one of those nagging and annoying things that keeps me ever-aware that I am only human.

While things may not always work out as we want them to, they do tend to unfold exactly how we need them to. And, for you, the best is yet to come!

Brightest Blessings,
Red
Ext. 9226