Red Responds: He Picked Up and Moved to Florida!

Jamie in Shenandoah writes:

I’m hoping you can help! Last October I got a new delivery guy. It was instant attraction for me. It just felt very comfortable when I was with him, but his communication was horrible. Handsome? Yes! But it was like pulling teeth to get anything out of the guy – but of course, that didn’t stop me.

We would see each other every other Thursday when he was on my delivery route and slowly but surely I did get him to “open up” a little. We did end up building a friendship which turned romantic in February. Slowly and steady we were working on something that just felt good and right. In early July on a Thursday he was supposed to be in my area, I got a knock on my door from a new delivery guy who told me that “my guy” quit his job and picked up and moved to Florida. This is so out of character for him. He did call and tell me he was going on a short vacation but he’d see me the next time he was scheduled to be in my town.

I thought it was something good and it was going somewhere. I spoke to some psychics who told me this was going to be a long-term relationship for me. Then giving no indication, he picked up and left without even saying goodbye. I’m heartbroken, confused and worried. I’ve searched for relatives of his in Florida but am finding no answers. I’m asking (begging!) for your help in getting some closure. I’d love to know anything you can tell me on why he did it, was it planned, will I see him again, and if I even meant anything to him I guess?

Dear Jamie,

Your delivery guy seems to have relocated for the summer, but he will be back. While his disappearance may be a bit out of character for him, it doesn’t look like he promised you anything long-term. From his perspective, your relationship was growing, but still at a pretty new and undefined place. He did care about you, but his take on your relationship was much more casual than yours.

His move appears as if it was rather spur-of-the-moment. Apparently, he learned of a money-making opportunity through a friend, and decided to go for it. I have no idea why he didn’t share or elaborate on his plans with you, other than he really didn’t feel it was necessary.

When he is back in the area, he will be in touch with you. There is a slight chance he may reach out before he comes back, but I’m not going to encourage you to hold your breath – it is only a slight chance.

The two of you look like you will reconnect, but it is a true starting over, not a reunion. Your guy is looking more for casual fun rather than a serious relationship. While this may cause you some struggle, it would be much better for you to accept it, rather than to try and change it. It is only by keeping it light and without strings that the long-term relationship can evolve and develop.

When the two of you do reestablish contact, be careful how you handle things. You are going to have to be strong, or you will scare him off. Telling him things like he broke your heart or that you tried to track down his relatives aren’t looking like they would buy you any favor, so I would hold back on that kind of information for a while, if I were you.

Be happy to see him, but also play it a bit cool. It’s not that you can’t tell him that you didn’t appreciate how he just up and disappeared, but you do have to be a bit strategic on how you present that information. I know much of this isn’t quite what you wanted to hear…

I still hope it helps!
Ext. 9226

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