I have been married for more than 20 years with 4 children. Two years ago I found out my husband has a child with a younger woman. He wants to keep us both, but I simply cannot accept such arrangement. He has been seeing his other woman and our lives have changed so much with his indecisiveness to end his infidelity. He wants me to be patient as he promised to let his other family settle before finally separating from this woman. I don’t see any signs of him acting towards this end and it seems he is more concerned with the feelings of this other woman than making me secure with my feelings. I am confused about what to do and how to take his infidelity.
Ivy in Manila
I keep staring at my monitor waiting for words to come that can somehow bring you to a place of peace, or at the very least, not seem so harsh and devastating. The real problem is the words don’t exist, because nothing I’m about to tell you is in any way what you want to hear.
The very last thing I want to do is add to your pain and confusion, but my integrity will not allow me to twist what I see or be deceptive to you. The only thing I can do is advise you to prepare yourself for the worst, because it’s here.
Ivy, your husband has no intention of ending his affair or breaking away from his second family. To add insult to injury, he’s also not overwhelmingly concerned as to whether you feel secure or not. He has the best of both worlds, and is comfortable in the knowledge that he has, can, and will continue to have his cake and eat it, too.
Your husband has love for both families. He fully believes and expects you to put up with this arrangement. He’s not going to leave you, but neither are you going to fully have him. Unless you make the conscious choice and effort to change your circumstances, things are going to continue to go on as they have been.
I can’t tell you how you should take your husband’s infidelity, how you should feel. No one can. Your values, standards, and feelings are your own, and they are valid. You feel what you feel. As a psychic, I can tell you that people react to situations based on who they are, not some “I’m A Human So This Is My Response” handbook – it doesn’t exist.
Amazingly, I am not seeing divorce around you. So, if you are going to continue putting effort into your marriage, you are going to have to come to terms with the fact that your marriage has evolved into a situation that is less than conventional.
I really want to encourage you to have a personal reading done with myself or any of the amazing psychics available to you at 1.800.PREDICT. We are all here to help you do what is best for you. Your situation is powerfully complex, and because of that, a simple column Q & A cannot delve as deeply as it needs to go in order to truly help you.