Red Responds: Do Her Parents Resent Her?

Alexandra in Barcelona writes:

I’m at a crossroads. I’m in my mid forties and two and a half years ago moved from Amsterdam to Barcelona, Spain. It was a big break: my relationship ended, my agent who represented me sort of sold out, and so I chose for me. I’m an artist working with photography and video. Though I really enjoy the life here in Spain, professionally it’s very hard. It was starting all over again. As I’ve been living off my savings, after almost three years, I’m seriously worried whether I will make it financially here. As I’m still single as well, I wonder, will a new love find me? On top of it all, my parents are not well, my mother is very ill, suffers from Alzheimers, and my father has serious heart problems. They live in Holland and so we only get to see each other every now and then. Please give me some insight, do my parents not resent me for living away from them, are they going to be okay? Should I continue living here, is there big improvement on the near horizon?

Dear Alexandra,

You are coming to a time in your life where you need to decide how you want your future to unfold. While I don’t, by-any-means, see failure around you, I do see that any path you take is going to require sacrifice.

If you decide to stay in Spain, things will be challenging on the financial front for the next two or three years. Because of your dwindling savings, you will have to consider taking a job that generates a steady income to supplement your savings and personal earnings. While success with your own endeavors does lie ahead of you, you still need to make ends meet during the time that stretches between now and then.

Your other alternative, naturally, is to move to Holland and help out with your parents. While this may not be your heart’s desire, you can achieve professional success there as well, with the added bonus of never having to regret not sharing more time with your folks. Your family does not resent you living in Spain, but they do miss you and worry about you. Ultimately, they want you to be well and happy, even if that path has taken you further away from them. Of course, they would also welcome you home, if that is what you would decide to do. I’m not going to lie to you – your parents aren’t going to be around forever. Each of them is dealing with the aging process and the sicknesses and ailments that come with it. Nature is going to take its course.

It is unfortunate, but I’m not seeing any superior love connections coming your way in the near future, but I do see that you are in a happy and loving relationship four years from now. I’m not certain when or how the two of you will meet, but I am certain you will.

Good luck!
Ext. 9226

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