Red Responds: Feeling Lost and Unattached to Everything

Kate in Clarkston writes:

I am feeling lost and unattached to everything in my surroundings. I am a single parent to two kids with special needs. I am exhausted most days just trying to keep up with the daily routine of life. I am trying to figure out what my plan or purpose is in his world. I am not content with the cold state I live in and would love to move to a warmer climate. I have not dated anyone in a couple of years now and would love to meet that special someone. I am also still trying to recover from a brief marriage that caused me many financial and legal problems. Everything that used to be solid in my life is slowly peeling away. I am taking this as a sign that change is coming my way. I wish I could figure out where my path is leading me becasue I feel so overwhelmed with life right now.

Dear Kate,

You are correct in assuming that change is coming – it always does. Unfortunately, life does have a way of stripping us of our illusions of security in order to prepare us for what comes next. It seems as if that is what is happening to you.

You are fulfilling a big part of your purpose in life, which is raising your kids. While some days are certainly more challenging than others, you not only seem to manage, but you manage well.

Dealing with the aftermath of a divorce can be an exhaustive process, but you will reestablish your place in life, and create a more secure foundation for yourself and your future. The financial and legal turmoil is passing, and will continue to fade. I’m more concerned about the residual emotional damage from the entire experience. There seems to be a lot of hurt you hold onto that you need to let go of. Learning from the past is one thing, but your past experiences, along with your hectic schedule, seem to prevent you from allowing yourself to look toward the future. I see that you aren’t sentenced to going through life alone, but it is going to take some time before you are able to make that special connection.

A lot of the detachment you are struggling with is because you are waiting for things to change, but you aren’t looking at what you can do to create the changes you desire. You have allowed the circumstances of your life to become your life, and you are just trying to maintain things as they exist.

If you truly want to relocate, make it a goal, and make it happen. It’s going to take planning and effort, but if you put your mind to it, a job opportunity can open the door for you to move to the South. While it may not be an easy transition, you would be rewarded for taking the risk. I don’t see you going to a big city, but I do see you settling into an area that has all the conveniences with a small-town, community feel.

Rather than try to figure out where your life path is leading you, you need to start thinking more in terms of which path in life you want to take. What is it that would truly make you happy? I see you at peace when you are living a more simple life. I see you content with a job that puts you amongst people, a small house with a small yard, and a handful of close friends. Just a simple existence that allows your needs to be met, your children to be cared for, and the luxury of quiet time.

Brightest Blessings,
Ext. 9226

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