Red Responds: They Have to Move in With His Parents

Linda in Chandler writes:

My husband and I have been struggling financially in the last three years. Now it’s finally come to the point that we have to move in with his parents. He was out of work for a year due to a serious car accident. He was fired for not being able to come back after six months. Then my car was totaled and cost us more money we didn’t have. We have had so much bad luck. Our marriage is great otherwise. It’s humiliating to have to move back in with the parents at this stage in our lives. I was born 7/10/57 and he was born 9/15/67. Are we ever going to see an end to this bad luck and be able to be out on our own and buy our own house?


Dear Linda,

While you may be feeling like you are living under some dark cloud, the storm is about to blow over. While you may not have much at the moment, don’t dismiss your blessings. Your husband may have lost his job, but he still has his life. Your car may have been totaled, but it protected you (heck, it wasn’t “all that” anyway). And, you now really know what your marriage is made of. Financial problems tear so many people apart.

Even though it is hard, quit longing for everything you once had. You can’t go back, all you can do is move forward. While your new life may be much more simple than your old, simplicity has its rewards. While your second start on life may have modest beginnings, it comes with a sense of freedom.

While living with in-laws may not be the most ideal situation for the two of you, it is nothing more than a transition. It will take several more months, but you and your husband will once again have a home of your own. I do believe you will find a house that you will rent with the option to buy. No, this isn’t exactly how you dream your future to evolve, but reestablishing your place in life, at any age, is always a difficult experience. Rather than be depressed over your current position in life, give thanks that you have the support and the time to pay off debts and save for a brighter future.

I wish I saw you winning the lottery, but I don’t. As hard as things have been for you and your husband, things will get better. It looks as if you and your husband are solely going to be responsible for the brighter future that lies ahead.

Your husband, when he isn’t feeling sorry for himself and your current circumstances, is a remarkably resilient guy. He is going to find – or figure out – a way to generate more cash flow into your life. I see you are working on that as well. Your financial picture is going to improve come June, and that is when each of you is going to see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Brightest Blessings!
Ext. 9226

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