Red Responds: Comfort and Familiarity Remains

Lori in San Angelo writes:

My ex and I divorced a year ago and he has been living with another woman since then. We have grandkids that have gone to live with them, so we have learned to be friends. The question that I have is when I am around him, he tends to send off signals and slips to me. I have had to struggle to get past the point of hurting all the time about him. What is going on with him? Why is he doing this? Does he still love me? Tell me what is in our future if you can.

Dear Lori,

You and your ex share a pretty solid history, and know each other intimately. Even though you are no longer man and wife, some of that comfort and familiarity remains. Because of this, the dynamic between the two of you can be somewhat awkward at times.

Even though you have mixed emotions about your ex, there is still a soft spot for him in your heart. He also still cares a great deal about you, and most likely always will. And, yes, he does throw you mixed signals.

It is true that your ex does think about you in very friendly terms at times, but I am not seeing the two of you reuniting in a romantic way. Sure, the opportunity for a fling will present itself, but that would do you more harm than good. Understand that his flirting is not meant to hurt you, but you would do better to laugh it off than to try and read into it or analyze it. What once was… is gone.

His current relationship has its ups and downs, but looks like it will continue on. While I’m not certain that he will spend the rest of his days with her, he is currently content enough with the situation.

You’ve done a lot of hard work to get where you are. Don’t backtrack now. While you can maintain a friendship with your ex, true love for you will be found with another man.

Best of luck!

Brightest Blessings,
Ext. 9226


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