Red Responds: Is He Just a Waste of Time?

Hi Red,

I have known my boyfriend for 8 months. He is a 35-year-old Taurus and I am a 28-year-old Cancer. Astrologically, as I hear, a good match. I adore him, but I have been hurt a lot and reserve stronger feelings for that reason. He seems to adore me and has done a lot for me. My family really likes him, which is important to me, so do my friends.

My problem is that he works a lot. Sometimes I only see him once a week and he often will go a day, maybe two, without calling. He says he gets busy and tired. I have also never met any of his friends or family – not that I have asked or brought it up. On big holidays, he is in Mexico where his mother lives and I am here (but he does have family here, very close by). Some people tell me it is his culture to not bring the girl home until she is the one. My gut doesn’t feel he is cheating, but my past sometimes does. His sign tells me he is known for his loyalty and we are a good match. I don’t want to waste time if he is not serious or there is someone else, help! What do you think?

P.S. In the beginning, he did not want to commit to being together, then awhile later a friend asked if we were together and he said yes, that’s kind of how we became official.

Thanks in advance.

Julie in Oxnard

Dear Julie,

You are asking for a black and white answer to questions that a various shades of gray. I will tell you what I see, but where you choose to go from here with that information is entirely up to you.

Your boyfriend does work a lot, and there are times when he is tired or just isn’t in the mood to deal with people; you included. There are also times when he chooses to tend to his own needs, and is not always really good with the “duty call.” Because I don’t see this changing, you need to decide if this is something you can live with. Even if you would talk to him about how it makes you feel when you don’t hear from him, it will still happen. From his perspective, it isn’t a big deal, and he isn’t doing it to cause you harm, he is only being true to himself.

I don’t see any other women around him, and it does look like he has been faithful and true. There are some cultural differences that come into play in this relationship, as well as some general differences on how each of you view relationships and how they should “be” and grow. Your perspective of this union is a bit heavier than his, partly because of your past and partly because your ultimate goal is a traditional legal union. He’s a little more laid back, enjoying the relationship as it is and waiting to see where it will go.

He is a really good guy, and there is much this relationship has to offer. He genuinely does care for and about you, as you do him. Is it the be-all and end-all of relationships for you? No. No, it is not. Only you can decide if that reduces what the two of you share into a waste of time. We are all only passing through this life. Ask yourself which is more important, the journey or the destination?

Brightest Blessings,
Ext. 9226

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