I have just met a kind and affectionate man who says he cares for me. I feel some connection with him, but my past seems to be holding me back… I don’t think I deserve to have a kind, loving man. I can feel myself pulling away from him at times — shutting down my communication because I feel scared. My date of birth is January 6. This man’s birthday is March 2.
There does seem to be some low-level karmic connection between you and this gentleman. However, it is a relationship that is less about the romance aspect and more about personal growth.
You recognize that because of your history and your own issues, you are somewhat sabotaging the potential for this relationship to fully develop and move forward. Consider it a wake-up call.
It is time for you to look at your life, both past and present, and let go of what no longer is healthy and productive to you. I want to strongly encourage you to seek professional assistance in getting your head together. Your self-esteem issues are amplifying your fears, and it is time to address these issues head-on.
It really saddens me that you can type the statement, “I don’t think I deserve to have a kind loving man.” Well, you’ve got one interested in you who is trying to teach you otherwise! And even though I don’t see this relationship as one preordained to change your love life into the romance story of the century; I do see it as an opportunity for you to start healing yourself and getting your emotional strength and equilibrium back.
You are far too young to be going through life as a shell of who you used to be. You’ve got a quiet vibrancy about you; and, if you work toward it, you can radiate like the summer’s sun.
Take care of you. Learn to love yourself. Others already do.