Red Responds: Ease a Beleaguered Mind

Dear Red:

I am very impressed by your readings that are printed and am hoping you can ease my beleagured mind. I am limited in my ability to call and make an appointment because of the situation I live in.

I would like to get out of this nightmarish marriage I live in; I need step by step guidance please. In the meantime, I have gotten to know a gentleman through some phone work I did about a year ago. We talk and email. He is wonderful for my ego….but is there more to it? He has had nothing but unhappy relationships in childhood and later with women. He says he will never marry. I feel a closeness to him… but does he feel the same… and will he accept me if my divorce goes through?

We are very different and yet essentially the same in our core beliefs. We have yet to meet. I am unable to concentrate on anything because he occupies my thoughts so much. Two psychics I have spoken to tell me there is some hope, but not much. I pray about this situation all the time. I thank you in advance for any help you can give me. Please don’t use my real name…as someone is probably trying to read my emails.

Lonesome in B.C.

Dear Lonesome in BC,

You’ve got two very separate issues going on, and you need to view them just that way. They don’t necessarily intersect; nor is one situation dependent on the other.

Leaving your marriage is going to be a difficult process and transition. Divorce is never easy, and you definitely have your hands full. Because of your situation, not only do you need to plan carefully, but you also need a little help. Exiting your marriage is not going to come quickly, because you are only in the beginning stages of planning.

You are on the right track; you do need to continue checking out attorneys in your area. They, much better than I, can prepare you for and help protect you from all that lies ahead. I know that it is going to be difficult, because you really need to keep as much secrecy as possible.

While you are gathering information on the legal side, you also need to plan on how to handle things on the financial side. Prepare the best that you can; because when the time comes, it is you that is going to be leaving the home. It looks like it’s going to be a pack-and-move-in-four-hours-or-less scenario.

Most of the burden is going to be on you. The real support from your friends and family doesn’t seem to really kick in until after you’re away from your husband. It’s going to be hard, but liberation rarely comes easy.

All of this must be done without the delusion that your love interest is going to come crashing in like a Knight in Shining Armor. He’s not going to do it.

I don’t, in any way, see you going from one husband to the next. As of right now, your gentleman friend is quite sincere and honest when he says he has no intention of marrying. While he is interested in and attracted to you, he is not going to “save” you. You must be your own savior, or accept to continue living your life as you have been.

While I don’t see you as ready to leave your marriage right now, I also don’t see you staying in it for much more than another year, either.

Getting back to your friend: that relationship will continue on just as it has been. It will improve somewhat after you are free of your husband, but not necessarily in the manner or timing that you are hoping for. While he will ease into a more substantial relationship with you, it does not happen quickly. Furthermore, you can easily wait a decade or an eternity before he will be willing to even toy with the idea of a marriage. While I can’t say that it is impossible, I can say that it is highly unlikely.

There are some definite challenges that lie ahead of you, but with time and planning you can claim the victory of freedom. If another marriage is also a victory you wish to achieve, you can have that as well… it just isn’t likely to be with your current man.

Best of luck to you!

Brightest Blessings,
Ext. 9226

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