You and I have talked several times; you have painted a beautiful picture of my boyfriend and I for the long-term future. I have shared with you his recent wish to turn to the military for a new career, and you have shared with me what you think will happen with this goal of his. He and I have never gotten to discuss this new goal of his nor have we talked much since my back surgery. He has been accepted into the military, and is leaving Jan. 9. Since my surgery, I have asked him to come by each evening to snuggle and/or talk and something keeps coming up. I don’t think he is making excuses, you know our living arrangements, work keeps calling him to work more hours, etc. Do you know when we will be able to discuss his decision and if he will have time to pay attention to me with my post surgery blahs? I would like some quality time with him before he goes galloping off into his new career and I would like to discuss with him where I now stand in his life with this new dream of his. I have been through so much, I am just ready for some smooth sailing, gentle love, and compassion.
Very hungry for tenderness,
J. in St. Louis
By the time you read this, you will have already had the conversation about which you are inquiring. Though he will not tell you directly, your place in his life has not and will not change; your place, as always, is by his side.
As we’ve discussed, your man has gotten lost amongst his own series of letdowns and obstacles. Joining the military is a very strong move, but not one that has brought him joy or support. Sadly, for him, it will get worse before it gets better. Through all of this, he will need you. Especially when, once again, things don’t quite work out as he had planned.
Until he leaves, you will have times of loving tenderness with him, even though they are somewhat bittersweet. The surgery blahs pale in comparison with the parting of ways that looms ahead of you. He feels it, too. The separation of miles comes through as temporary, and the separation of heart and spirit does not present at all; what you fear will not come to pass. Though you two may agree not to place limits on the other, you hold each other’s hearts securely. There is no drifting apart.
Dry your tears, my friend. Your future is still being shown to me as it always has been. He is with you every step of the way, and it is golden.