Their Terrible Need to Bully
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Ever since I got married, my life has been a struggle because my in-laws hate me. My in-laws torture me. They disrespect me and degrade me. My mother-in-law and my brother-in-law are the main culprits and constantly create problems for my husband and me. I forgive them and try to move forward with them but then they hurt me again. Why do my in-laws hate me so much? They never accepted me as their daughter/sister and I married into their family hoping they would learn to love me.
My heart is wounded. I’d like to be able to wipe the slate clean but first I need to know what the root cause is of their disrespect and why my husband refuses to do anything to support me. Divorce is not an option in my culture; I just want to make everything pleasant.
Psychic Kallista ext. 9623 responds:
It is painful to hear you say, “My in-laws hate me” because of the hurt you are deeply suffering from them. I am so sorry for the heartache they are causing you. First, you have done nothing wrong. The root cause is in them and their terrible need to bully you in order to make themselves feel a false sense of superiority. They bully your husband too in that they thought they could dictate to him whom he should marry. He didn’t listen to them. He loves you and married you regardless of their ugly attitudes. They have not forgiven him for this.
They can see how kind, patient, and loving you are, and they can’t stand it because they want to drag you down to their low level. You have made every effort to rise above them and be loving and kind in spite of their awful behavior. Continue to do what you know is right, but keep in mind that they are very cruel and have no desire to change. Please know that they also sense your need to please and your vulnerability, and they feed off it because that’s what abusers do.
It’s time for you to stand up to these bullies because that is what they are—abusive bullies. It’s time for you to stop dwelling on the thought, “My in-laws hate me,” and start teaching them to respect you by refusing to accept their unacceptable behavior. You have no doubt noticed they are mean to a lot of people. No one can please people who are determined to remain implacable.
Here is one effective way to teach them how to treat you: Set boundaries with them. When they are attacking you, look into their eyes and say “STOP!” If they attempt to continue berating you, leave the room. Leave the house for a little while, if necessary. Spend the least amount of time being around them as possible. Sadly, your husband is afraid of them—especially your domineering mother-in-law. Even if you’ve tried to do so before, you must have a heart-to-heart conversation with him, and remind him that uniting together as a couple is the best way to stand up to (and finally end) this abuse.
You feel divorce is not an option, but being bullied in your own home is not an option either. It will not be easy for you to give up trying to get them to love you, but you must. Bullies cannot love anyone because they hate themselves so much. Instead, you must focus on loving yourself first and treating yourself with respect. Only when you do these things will they back off a little. When they can no longer hurt you, and feed off your pain, they will finally quit. Unfortunately, they will continue to test your boundaries for a time, so you and your husband must be consistent in standing up to them.
You are strong enough to ask for help. Only strong people do. If you will obtain support from someone such as a love psychic, you will find it to be very beneficial. You need someone who has your back and will give you powerful tools to stand up for yourself. If you try to continue with things the way they are currently, there’s a danger that your marriage will collapse.
You are a good person and I know you are lovely both inside and out. You are smart, capable, and kind, and you have a beautiful heart. What you deserve is a marriage full of love and peace. The good news is, if you are willing to do the work, you will attain the wonderful things you deserve.
May you be ever blessed,
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