Can They Reconnect?
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Dear Psychic Reed,
A few months ago, the love of my life and I had a huge misunderstanding and I need you to help me figure out how to rebuild trust. He ended up turning to another woman for comfort during a time of loss in his life. Because we were not speaking at the time of this unfortunate death in his family, he let this woman be his comfort after only knowing her for one week. It was devastating and he said it was confusing due to overwhelming emotions tied to his circumstances. He believes he had feelings for this woman in this very short span of time. However, he also thought it could just be an illusion brought on by wanting to have someone there for him.
We have been together for 17 years and we rarely ever have an angry word between us. We have never been in love with anyone else like this before and we are still in love. Are we going to be able to work through this, figure out how to rebuild trust, and find each other again? Is it even possible to rebuild the trust after this situation with the other woman? We have shared a beautiful night of passion since this happened but have yet to reconnect fully. Can you shed some light on this, and help me figure out what happens next with my beloved, please?
Psychic Reed ext. 5105 responds:
The good news is that you and your beloved are going work through this and find one another again. It will take time to rebuild trust, but it will happen. Truly successful couples are the ones who learn how to rebuild trust as a couple. That means that this isn’t just his job or yours. You need to do it together. You need to know that he won’t turn to others, even if you’ve recently had a huge misunderstanding. He needs to know that you will always be there for him, even if you’ve recently had a huge misunderstanding. Even more than that, you need to fully understand one another’s needs.
Each of you should get to vent and be sure to listen to each other fully. Expect emotional reactions from him and from yourself. Then go about making your lives as transparent to one another as you can. It’s not like either of you wanted this to happen and it’s not as if it’s a pattern or cycle that happens over and over. This was a really unfortunate, one-off situation. In time you will find it fading into the past. While you are figuring out together how to rebuild trust, remember that forgiveness isn’t about letting the other person off the hook. Rather, it’s about your own emotional freedom.
Relationships are about growing together and this event, while painful, will certainly bring you both growth. You would have to be a little more forgiving to have really been there for him during that time and he would have had to be a little more forgiving in order to have really received support from you during that time. We get better at something the more we practice, so start now by setting the issue with the other woman aside so that you can work on the problem that led to the original rupture and get in touch with one another’s needs again. This is the quickest path back to each other.
His feelings for her were circumstantial and will be quick to fade, so don’t be the only one in your house who’s thinking about her. Put it aside and get on with healing and rebuilding trust—together.
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