Whose Life Are You Living?

Making Sure You’re On the Right Track

You’re stuck and it’s April. The trees are growing green and the flowers are blooming. The yard needs to be mowed. The house should be aired out every day because it feels good outside. But why do you feel so awful?

Are you living your life? Or are you living your children’s lives or your partner’s life? Even are you living you cats’ lives?
Maybe you’re having an affair to keep some kind of spark in your life. Is that person the one you love? Do you do things to make that affair better for your life? Who are you living for?

Your children are going to grow up and have their own lives. Your partner may grow apart from you and you may need to make big decisions. Will you stay with your partner through thick and thin because you made a vow? And if you didn’t have an affair physically, what about the fantasies?

I want to encourage each of you to live for your own life. Not selfishly, no. But if you’re not happy, nobody in your life you’re trying to please will be, either. You need to live your own life and figure out what makes you happy, what makes you excited about every day.

Do you have hobbies? Do you want to breed those cats of yours? What’s holding you back from living the life you always wanted?

This gets very personal when it comes to partners. Sometimes, people grow apart and someone in the relationship discovers someone else who they could be happy with and love forever. Why does that happen? It’s not fair, is it? Well, here’s what I think.

It’s your life. How can you expect the partner you’ve always been with to be happy if you’re not? Yes, you may hurt that person you’ve spent years with, but I’m guessing deep down, your partner knows you’ve drifted, fantasized, maybe even had an affair with an old lover.

It’s hard, I know. It is incredibly emotionally painful to hurt someone and move away from them to pursue your own happiness. However, in my opinion, it’s not just your happiness you are going after. It’s doing something to improve your life. It’s being yourself. It’s going all the way back to childhood, when you ran through the woods in flip-flops and knew every trail.

What makes you happy? Do you know? It’s April, and it’s time to think about change and growth. What can you do to improve your life and do the things you always wanted to do…for you?

It’s not selfish, no. You can actually hurt people more by not going for the things that make you feel good about yourself and have you fulfilled.

The hardest thing I see many callers deal with is fading relationships. The guilt, the loss, the desire to be with someone they love like a soul mate when the one they are with isn’t. Do they leave? Do they try to make it work?

Ask yourself what makes you happy. My advice is to find it and do it. You may have to hurt people in the short term, but in the long run, if you do what’s right for you, what makes you feel life again, everything will work out.

It may be making the partnership work. It may be leaving. It may be something as simple as picking up a paint brush after twenty years of not touching one.

You have nothing to lose by chasing your life down and living it the way you want. Sometimes seasons are compared to stages of life. Spring is early, twenties, teens, childhood. Summer is the thirties. Fall is the fifties. Winter is old age. I don’t believe that. I think everyone has the choice to be in spring all the time.

Chase your loves and passions and live life for yourself. You will only regret the things you didn’t do if you cling to pleasing other people for what they want out of you. You are eternally spring. Make your way in life according to what makes you happy and alive. Take chances. Yes, you’ll be afraid, and you must be aware of not being selfish. No, living for yourself isn’t selfish. It’s happiness you want. I know you will not intentionally be cruel; I know you hate to hurt anyone with chasing your life down and living your dreams.

You are always spring, and don’t forget that. Until the day you pass, you always have a choice to improve your life and bloom like daisies in spring. Don’t be afraid; you are the only person you’ll ever have to answer to. Will you choose regret or will you go for living life as you desire?

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