How to Recognize Strong Character

Learn to Judge Correctly Before It’s Too Late!

Every time someone pulls the wool over our eyes we scratch our heads and wonder if we truly didn’t see the writing on the walls. We wonder why we didn’t recognize a bad friend, co-worker or partner. The problem is not that we didn’t see it coming. The problem is that we are generally unwilling to listen. We don’t trust our own instincts and we tend to romanticize those who we have chosen as partners or friends; and we might feel ashamed for having hired someone we shouldn’t have. But there are a few ways to spot those with a strong character, which will allow you to make an informed decision in what capacity you’d like that person in your life; if at all.

First of all, observing a person’s behavior over time really is your friend. Any mask and facade can only be upheld for so long, until it starts cracking or completely falling apart. One of the biggest indicators of someone with a great character is how they handle their life in times of stress, when they are criticized/confronted or experience failure; in other words, when things don’t go their way and not all is rosy. Pressure truly reveals who someone is at their core and what coping skills they have. Why? Because those with strong character compose themselves with grace, dignity and kindness, no matter how bad it gets. Going through difficult or hard times never gives reason to act like a jerk. And, a person with strong character won’t always make it about themselves, while selfishly disregarding another’s view or opinion. They don’t have their head stuck up their butts, unable to see anything outside of their own box and bleak reality, and because of that they know how to forgive, let go and move on.

Strong character is usually fueled by integrity, honesty, fairness, kindness and strength. Therefore, consistent actions of douche baggery, egotism, victimhood, fear, anger, jealousy or imbalance are not sported, because a strong character has no need for those. It is absolutely normal for anyone to handle things the wrong way sometimes, but the sum of our actions is what defines us; not our occasional words or displays of doing the right thing. Don’t listen to excuses like “well, these were special circumstances,” or “I have been going through a hard time.” We all go through hard times now and then. It doesn’t give us the right to lash out, to insult people or take our moods and attitude out on them; it doesn’t give us the right for attitude, period. Anyone who notoriously sports moody behavior, who can’t be trusted and requires a constant tiptoeing, i.e. censorship of one’s actions or words is not worth catering to. Any relationship, personal or professional, requires a consistent flow of giving and taking. When things are always off balance it is time to reevaluate if it is worth continuing interaction with that person.

Unhealthy souls have a way of attracting more of the same, namely more stress, drama and pain. They are never in a space of true happiness; they don’t know joy and any success they may feel is short-lived. The glass is always half empty for them, no matter how good they have it or what happens, because they have long lost, or maybe never even learned the ability to enjoy anything in life. They have come to rely on their own misery, worry and lack of anything good to define how their life unfolds.

I noticed that everyone I have ever met with amazing character has lost a great deal in life at some point; they have endured great hardships or pain and within all of that have learned to not take things for granted and to appreciate people and situations more, while complaining and whining less. They have learned to be kinder and more patient because they know how it felt at some point and time to be on the other side of the spectrum. They have learned what truly matters in life and therefore waste no time on those who didn’t learn it. And while I still do not understand why some who endure pain turn into monsters, while others turn into heroes, I do know that true loss or dire consequences to one’s own created misery have created some of the most amazing people I have ever encountered.

It is difficult to swim against the stream and to do what is right, especially when there are those who keep making excuses for us, support us or enable us in our BS. But at the end of the day, those who can’t learn, are those who won’t grow. And those who won’t grow, are those who’ll stay down in the black hole of mere existence.

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46 thoughts on “How to Recognize Strong Character

  1. marialaloca77M.H.

    It has to be noted that were good listeners. Yet its too late so sad to fall victim of self destruction or destructive strong opiniated characters we run into from time to time. Some truth of it all is that I find closer with every blog I read. The utmost respect to some well written blogs/screenplays.I find the truth & non-scence of it all. It doesnt really matter after tomorrow!!!!! A hole once full of pain/confusion will be healed. Keep it Bloggin’!!!!!!

    Reply
  2. Wendi

    Well, Paula you do make some valid points. The healthier a person becomes the more “character building” happens but you’re right in that it takes someone’s “lack of character” to teach you what you may need to learn such as compassion, understanding and forgiveness. But this article isn’t delusional or self righteously judgmental, it is realistic and its part of the core philosophy of re-framing behaviors for people in behavioral therapies or substance abuse programs. The part I found ironic was you calling it judgmental when you yourself went rampant with judgement…. ie: “looking into someones astrology program aka birth chart and very easily seeing their weakness, and FORGIVING them for being WEAK” this is such a judgmental statement and further perpetuated with ” they are serving a purpose with their so called lack of character and that is to to teach you how to be STRONG, Compassionate and forgiving and having Character yourself”. I’m sorry but the only part that seems non-judgmental in your rant is the fact that you are open to astrology but you forget that free-will and behavioral conditioning from childhood are not something that astrology have anything to do with…only the astrology is the inherent part that cannot be changed…people change behaviors every day! How does astrology dictate that? Astrology does not control the rationale or behavioral parts a person has control over and learning is certainly not dictated by astrology since everyone has the CHOICE over what it is they WANT to learn and that my friend is where character comes in, along with maturity, in knowing that to change you must be open to it and learn from others to get there. But calling people weak and forgiving them for having lack of character as you suggest is not a positive statement toward your belief and you have made yourself appear as a hypocrite.

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  3. Paula Ferree

    Case in Point, My energy now, as evidenced by my viewpoint above, aka Fiesty about Love. what if this was my birth chart and i always acted like this? would that be bad character, or a cosmic thing to have compassion for? : “A need for excitement
    Today you seek excitement and stimulation through your love relationships, even to the point of provoking a fight. The existing patterns of your relationships will become difficult to deal with even if you know that they are basically constructive. Be careful of being impatient with loved ones, demanding that they gratify your need for excitement, unless of course you want to have an argument. On the other hand, this is a good day for getting things out into the open, where the two of you may reach an understanding. If you and your loved one are under no constraints, then you can enjoy many new experiences with each other. In fact, this influence can be a test of the flexibility of your relationship. The less flexible it is, the more disruptive this time will be.”

    The interpretation above is for your transit selected for today:
    Venus Square Uranus, , exact at 16:56
    activity period from 6 October 2011 to 8 October 2011

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  4. ola

    this article has realy helped me to think straight, cause i am passing through alot in life. Reading this article has made me to know when things are always off balance it is time to reevaluate. Thanks alot for this heart warming article

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  5. Paula Ferree

    “And while I still do not understand why some who endure pain turn into monsters, while others turn into heroes,”

    this is what astrology is for!!! look at the birth chart. it’s all there. then climb down off your high horse. start teaching ASTROLOGY, not absolute moralizing.

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  6. Paula Ferree

    while it all sounds great in theory, i call Poppycock! this is delusional self righteous judgemental sappy unenlightened thinking at it’s best, masquerading as good advice. Character has nothing to do with being a good person or how one acts in a crises. our behaviours are a script run from our ASTROLOGY patterns. this is a fundamental truth and there is nothing any judgement is going to do to protect you from some one else’s lack of character. if you have this experience it is because that person is YOUR TEACHER. they are teaching you how to LOVE and how to be objective about not relying on others when you should be taking care of your own shiz net. it is about looking into someones astrology program aka birth chart and very easily seeing their weakness, and FORGIVING them for being WEAK. they are serving a purpose with their so called lack of character. and that is to to teach you how to be STRONG, Compassionate and forgiving and having Character yourself. you cannot expect anyone to be anything that you are not yourself. if they are struggling with their character, it is your job as LOVE to look beyond appearances and find the core truth in that person. that we are all the same, made of the same eternal mind and as we look beyond events and personality, we see that each unique soul is struggling to learn how to run their ASTROLOGY features with the rest of us struggling and flawed humans. get over this judgement, learn ASTROLOGY for forgiveness and TRUE INSIGHT and be your own strength.

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  7. cindy

    This is a wonderful article! I agree with Emily how it can get lonely sometimes in standing by
    your own morals and beliefs. I just had occcasion to say goodbye to someone who was using
    me. It took me a long time to realize this and your article came to me at just the right time.
    Thank you for showing me that I did the right thing!

    Reply
  8. Kiley

    Fabulous article- one of the best I’ve ever read. Hits home – alot with some people I know & sometimes in me a little too, but I’m comfortable with who I am but worried I’m attracting people who need caretakers. Even my compassion for them doesn’t seem to work with them. They’re just stuck in their misery & blame everyone else for their problems or failures & you have to end the relationship. Thanks again. They should teach this stuff in school from Grade 1 & up!!

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  9. Brittany

    ever since i had a misscaridge i was seeing myself for all the flaws and let myself jsut fall apart as they should and still tryin to get my life going i made so many other reasons to be upset and give a good excise for why i had to be angry ,but then tryin my hardest to take it out on freinds n family i was thinkin to hard and i totally let myself go and stopped life cuz i ignored my instincts to wallow in it and then no one talkin to you and only worrried about myself and how it affected me and not them was hurtin me the most cuz i know life goes on and life happens and there still there and there the smartest strongest ppl cause they been through it all and again and they still see life for what it is and make it better
    that is a great article it should be put out there,there are alot days i let my loved ones and self down with excuses and anger and i know that doesnt go well with other ppl in genereal. and im scared to lose them and my commen sense on how things are in life and how ppl you and treatin ppl the way i lash out isnt me ,theres always a moutain to climb” and im ready to get the head outta butt and start going about things better 🙂

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  10. Chinelo

    Sometimes people think that those of us who ponder before we speak and act are fools, but the real act of foolery is to belittle yourself by responding to ones foolery and ignoramus talks.you just don’t want to be in that class of unguarded talks.this article has real opened my eyes on the necessity of wisdom for growth in life

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  11. Patricia Fillmore

    This is a wonderful, helpful article. I’ve read it twice already and probably will go back and re-read it several times. Actually many of these characteristics stand out in some of the people I was closest to at one time. I now understand what to look for in true friends. I also saw a few of my own characteristics mentioned and plan to work on them. I need to stand up for myself more and look for the best qualities in those I chose to be close to.

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  12. nettie

    I truly enjoyed reading this article tremendously and agree to everything said whole heartedly. This touched on so many real traits, a tiger can’t hide his spots forever. In my last relationship, I have to admit I was the one who always made the excuses, excuses for a man who always made excuses for his poor behavior for example, to my family members , to his family members, or why he never stood up to the plate when anything important happened to me in my life, but always wanted me to be there for him when important things happened in his, I call this a one way street. I got off that street some time ago mainly because in my heart of hearts I was always the one feeling bad or used, so yes I really do understand the characteristics oh so well. Thanks for the in sight.

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  13. Jules

    Wow, thank you. I think I may have been one of these people with a not so strong character and may have fallen into doing some of the things mentioned in this article. Kind of tough to swallow, but I am now on the mend and working on becoming the strong person I once was many years ago, I have been trying for a year or so now and it has been hard work but know I can do it!!

    Reply
  14. Carmen Knopfette Honacker

    I have faced death for myself and for others on numerous occasions. It taught me to focus on what is really important, versus the things that are not.

    Doing the right thing and being the one who leads by example may not be the easiest path. Alas, it is the most rewarding one.

    Much love and light to all of you!

    Reply
  15. Mary

    Thank you for this read. This is exactly what I’ve been living with, with my almost ex-husband. His lack of coping skills and being unable to continue life with some happiness. Thank you!!! I understand!

    Reply
  16. juanita diaz

    wow a nice awakening, and so true to this article made me think about life for sure and how to change and alter my life for the better.

    Reply
  17. simmi

    incredibly written. Exactly what i needed to hear the most at this of my life. People have so many excuses to their behaviors these days and sometimes they just need to be truthful to themselves and others.

    thank you so much for sharing this!
    lets me know, im not alone!

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  18. marie

    Right on point……Iron sharpens Iron……Everything stated in this article is absolutely true.
    Lived it, know it, gave a lot of excuses for people because I was giving time for those to grow
    genuine in their journey……..I am an older woman, have dated younger men, and I tell you, they just don’t get it……..and sadly, as much as I give benefit of the doubt, people don’t change because self growth is not even on their agenda. Forgetting gender/and relationship wise, it is the courageous person, to face their core and work on ones self. No one is perfect, however we should choose to be aware of not only our perception of ourselves, but, the perception of how people view us. If we don’t live as a recluse, people exchange energy everyday, and that energy should be positive and a light along our way, no matter what. I believe we are all connected and when we choose to be in anyone’s company, it should be with the intention that it is a positive and equal exchange.

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  19. sandy

    I just experienced reading this and it touched on the very core of what I’m going through with my friend. I will read this many times and let it settle into my being…trying to be even more compassionate with him, and myself , with a better understanding of both of us.

    Simply said…..thank you for sharing this.

    Reply
  20. Lorraine

    I read these articles on California Psychics every day but this one was truly exceptional! Amazing, eye opening and the best dose of reality I’ve read in a long time. Thank you, this came to me at a moment I needed it most. I will print this and keep it handy.

    Reply
  21. Ashley Bam

    Thank you So much for this article Carmen! I needed this confirmation in my heart and you brought me full-circle. My mind body and definitely my spirit knew what had to be done but you just helped my heart accept what has to be taken care of Now. I love your articles… And this one Really inspired me in a whole new uplifting way!

    Reply
  22. Irene Tron

    Dear Carmen,

    What a terrific message to take with me throughout my day and everyday! After reading about the loss of Steve Jobs and commencement address to Stanford U grads, Mr. Jobs summed up life very well for those who live on the positive side of life, “Once you realize that you are facing death, it brings to light what is really important in life.”

    Reply
  23. dionne

    Hi, i am having a hard time at work ,the people i work with are very negative ,and talk about each other a lot.I am a heavy set person and this young lady is always making fun of me or trying to embarrass me about my weight, i have ended up now just not talking to her at all, she is always trying to put me down. Am i doing the right thing by not talking to her anymore, i don’t know where i stand with these people

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  24. Raquel

    Awesome article!! Straight to the point, you are telling it like it is. We all could imagine, in most cases, how it is to be on the other side and learn to appreciate the good, the honest, the appreciation of doing what is right and trying to stay on the right path. Positivity is the key, and loving yourself first that way you can love and share with others.

    Raquel

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  25. chloeChloe ext. 9421

    Awesome article Carmen!

    I agree with all of it and I love how direct and to the point you are.

    It displays your own integrity and character : )

    Thanks so much for your insightful words.

    Love & Light,

    ~Chloe (ext. 9421)

    Reply
  26. LUCY

    Fabulous article Carmen. Very insightful and well written too. I think this article will empower many people. Thank you

    Reply
  27. misskrystalmisskrystal

    I agree with you, Carmen, 110%.
    Fabulous article. Excellent insight…
    Dealing with these types of lower vibrational spirits, is never easy. A lot of people are stuck having to cope-Boundaries are key, when having to deal with this type of toxic behavior.
    Thanks for a wonderful article. Your fan, Miss Krystal

    Reply
  28. Emily

    I agree with what I have read.I tell that to my friens ad they just don’t get it.I agree that when someone is decieving you to get what they want from you,their true colors will eventually show.
    I found that because I stand by my word and morals it can get very lonely at times. Others have away of turning the other cheek, or totally ignoring what the user has done and opening themselves up to be abuses again.When the user has got all they want and leave ,the one that got taken looks around wondering what happened.
    Myself I would rather have one solid good friend than five so called friends.And yes maybe feel alone when the others are having a get together.

    Reply

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