How to Live Authentically

One of the most loving things we can do for ourselves and others is live authentically. For those who tend to put others before themselves, it can be very uncomfortable and even feel unloving at first. But, you will begin creating your life in the most positive way, from a place of consciousness and joy when you learn who you really are in spirit, and let your spirit’s expression shine through your human self. Ultimately, it is aligning your Ego self to your Higher or Spirit self.

I think our Western culture has conditioned us to believe we are lovable because of what we do – and what we do gives us worth and value to others and ourselves. We do things, so we can have stuff (or people), so one day we can retire this way of life and finally just be ourselves. I call this “living in the pseudo-being.” What if we have it backwards? Even if we engage in this way of life only at work…that equals at least 36% and usually 54% of the time spent not sleeping for the average American. What happens when doing becomes a way of life?

I first examined this years ago when I read Creative Visualization by Shakti Gawain. I was in my own crisis trying to figure out how my life became so frustrating and why I was so unhappy. I felt victimized by my job, my boss, my kids, my ex-husband and friends and family… this list went on and on. I felt singled out and let down by God, The Universe and Life itself. Much to my surprise, I learned that I created this unhappiness and frustration simply by not living and loving authentically. I was attracting people, places, jobs and situations that were out of alignment with who I am and what brings me joy. There were hard feelings with others because I was unconsciously presenting someone that I was not. I had no conscious idea what I was doing.

Understanding what I was doing wasn’t enough for me… I wanted to know why. In my search for the truth, I was guided to read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. The wisdom in this simple little Toltec book really opened my eyes to cultural conditioning. Ruiz calls it the domestication of people {children}. As a child I remember being asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” My answers were a secretary, a teacher, a nurse or the Avon Lady. Those were pretty much the professions of women that I knew of when I was little. Now that I’m all grown up, I’m not very interested in a professional title to define me. What I want to be is happy. If I am any one thing, it is a “joy seeker.”

What is living authentically? Authentic simply means genuine or real. In this discussion, it is about living in the energetic state of following what genuinely brings you joy. It is about being true to yourself.

The human condition is too complicated and dynamic for any one blanket answer or definition to individual authenticity. However, with this technique, the process to finding individual authenticity is the same for everyone. First, you will want to examine the order of do, have and be, and decide if you are in the “pseudo-being” state of mind. Second, determine if engaging in the pseudo-being brings you joy and happiness, and if it is working for you. If you find that it is not working for you, you will want to change the order of do, have and be. I suggest examining a new concept in being and the importance of just being you. Let’s examine the new order.

When we are liberated to be ourselves, we automatically do what resonates to us with love and joy. When we allow ourselves to participate in relationships with people, go to places, jobs and situations for no reason other than for the joy and love it brings us, we will have more than what we need.

This is a simple concept in the understanding part, and not so easy in the action part. Prioritizing and balance are very important in this process. Trying to change too much at once can be overwhelming. All the years of conditioning ought to be considered. Just bringing this concept into consciousness for a week will create awareness of what brings you joy and what doesn’t. Small steps in the right direction will make a huge difference! You are worth it!

18 thoughts on “How to Live Authentically

  1. Psychic WhitneyPsychic Whitney

    Love, love, LOVE this article, Brendalynn! It’s so true. The interesting thing is that once we become our authentic self, at that stage in life, and express THAT, then more layers are peeled back and more authenticity is revealed…we just keep going deeper and deeper until fear is gone and only LOVE remains and you realize you are not separate from anyone or anything. And, you are ONE with Source.

    Walking with you in the light,

    Psychic Whitney, ext. 5716

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  4. loolie

    The divorce several years ago still haunts me. I would like to be free of it — 23 years of living with someone who didn’t love me or couldn’t show me love, is like 23 years in jail. But I can still feel his presence … we always had a strong connection, and it’s hard to shake it. It actually affects my relationship with my grown children, and I worry about my eldest daughter who is still single. I appreciate that I learned a lot from those years … like how to be hopeful, overcome depression and stay positive. People say that a divorce is like a death, and it very well is, to me anyway. I work two jobs and I am okay with my day job because it makes me feel needed, and like my weekend job but I guess I am getting tired of the stasis in both of them. I am trying to do things — I have always had a myriad of skills, interests, and hobbies — and I am trying to do more things that I wasn’t allowed to do before I get “too old”, but I also hope that one of these avenues will lead me into my “happy life” with a true love. and I also have a dream that we could start our own business. After several heart-wrenching spills out in the “real world” I observe that I am seriously mistrustful of all guys, and that is probably a good thing because I am sure my naivety got me into this mess in the first place. What do you suggest? Is it too late to find a soul love after so many years being kept from it? Should I just try to forget about that (like I really could?) Do you think I should pursue one particular track, change things up or wait it out? Where do I start in just being instead of doing all the time? Thank you for your guidance.

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  6. Larura

    Thanks for the article, can you give a little reference to your be, have and do process. Please fill in the gaps in my memory about this, a little jogging may go a long way.

    Thanks again,

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  8. Brendalynn

    Hi Gina Rose!
    I have read about your crossings over in your blogs… what an experience! You are truly blessed. And especially we are blessed to have you!
    You are very supportive and I am grateful.. Thank you!
    Brendalynn ext 5173

  9. Brendalynn

    Hi Nunu!
    A mermaid and a cat… LOVE it! I am reminded of some of the best dreams I ever had when I was little… that I was a mermaid. It was a very liberating feeling!
    Tremendous Love,

  10. Brendalynn

    Hi Phillip!
    Oh yes, habits… I used to have a lot of resistance to that word. Especially when it involved the action of new ones. LOL With practice, creating a new reality becomes automatic.
    About wisdom… As well, I have really enjoyed the wisdom in your blogs and articles! I love the way you write… I think your writing is brain-bending and thought provoking.
    I really appreciate you posting here… Thank you!
    Tremendous Love,

  11. Brendalynn

    Hi Gina Rose!
    I have read about your crossings over in some of the other blogs… what a miracle! You are truly blessed and we are expecially blessed to have you here! I am grateful for your support… thank you!
    Tremendous Love,

  12. Miss Krystal ext. 9192

    Hi Brendalyn-
    Thank you for this very encouraging article.
    I totally agree with what you say. The biggest mistakes that people make a lot of times is that they take leaps instead of steps. Also, never forget the love and joy, oh I so agree with that. This is a true road to happiness, for sure.
    Thank you.
    Miss Krystal

  13. Sophia

    Hi brendalynn Wonderful article since thoughts become things, positive thinking is the way to go! write some more!
    Blessings to you.

  14. Eva Stulb

    Hi Brendalynn,
    The saying “get real” takes on a whole new light.
    It has been the hard lessons, the broken hearts and the disbelief of circumstances that has jolted me awake. Through adversity I too have found my way back to joy. As I saw everything as an image of my own distorted thoughts, I saw I could change my world through myself.
    Keep sending out the message of strength and love.
    Live in Joy,

  15. Phillip 9485

    Wonderful wisdom Brendalynn. All action begins with a thought or idea. Happiness, as a way of thinking, as a way of life becomes habitual, just as being unhappy or preoccupied with lack is a habit. We created the original habit which means we can create a NEW habit. Sincere blessings.

  16. Gina Rose ext.9500

    Hi Brendalynn,
    Excellent article…..!!!!
    I had to literally die and cross over twice to truly learn this lesson…..I teach my students this lesson as well…..
    hopefully, others will read your article and take it to heart.
    Blessed Be )O(…Gina Rose ext.9500
    Great job !!!!


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