Learning to Accepting Self-Healing
Early on in my hypnotherapy training, they brought up the concept that any behaviors that we develop through our lives are direct results of either things that happened to us, or things that we did that got stuck in our memories, our psyches, and our subconscious mind. So below the conscious level of day to day life, we have these “sticky” strips that grab onto a word, or a look, or many times, imagined “slights”; they cause this wounded part of ourselves to “react.” Those sticky places and the subsequent reactions are something we hold onto and beat ourselves up over and over again, which actually strengthens the negative reaction we dislike. Forgiving yourself lessens that negative pattern and can free you to change “old tapes” for newer more positive behaviors and overall happiness with who you are!
Think back to the last time or two you reacted in a way that made you uncomfortable. Remember that feeling of gut-wrenching intensity that came just before you reacted? That’s the inner child scrunching down on itself out of fear, guilt, anger, etc… When we feel that “winding up” feeling it means that something has triggered a deeper response than the situation may call for. This is your “moment of choice” to choose a different path. Take a moment of “time out” to clear your head before you act.
Let’s focus on forgiving yourself for each of these uncomfortable moments by understanding that you were “doing the best that you could, with the tools you had at that time!” Realize that these moments are in the past and that by making a commitment to work on the behaviors in the future, you need a “fresh start”. That is what forgiveness can do for you. It is usually something from your past that has caused you to react, and there are many ways to pursue and clear those old wounds with counseling or help. To start to feel better today, you can forgive yourself for any behaviors that happened before you became aware that there was a deeper issue that triggered them.
Forgiving yourself for being human and for holding onto that old fear is the beginning of taking the sting out of it. I like to suggest a nice letter to yourself as loving and nurturing as you would be to a child, or a loved one, or your best friend. Mail it to yourself, and when it arrives, open it and meditate on what is there as if it is from a divine mentor that loves you as perfect exactly as you are! Now you can start to work on changing the behavior!
The key to making this work is to be vigilant in your thinking, when you start beating yourself up, or being negative; have a list of positive affirmations to help you move into the light again! If you change your “mind” and how you think about yourself, your life WILL change for the better!