For Love or Beauty

There are so many prejudices even today about having the right appearance when searching for a partner. So much emphasis has been placed on “how we look together, what people think, what people might say,” and less on “how we feel about each other,” or how much attraction there really is.

Many stigmas have been attached to those who choose to date or love outside the societal norm. Is it really important if one partner is taller than the other? Does it matter if that person is the woman? What about culture? If two people are willing to work on their differences, why should other people force their opinions on them, or inundate them with stares so they feel uncomfortable?

Does love choose pretty people to be with pretty people? Does it choose short people to be with short people? Of course not! Destiny and fate make their move when they choose, and we are the ones who make the choice to walk away. The most beautiful person on the outside may turn out to be ugly when that first fist is thrown, or when your arm candy has just taken you to the cleaners.

Cyrano de Bergerac could not attract women because of his hideously oversized nose. The Hunchback of Notre Dame was considered a thorn because of his looks–but both men were the most romantic of poets, with big hearts. Given a chance, they could have proven to be the most loving people–yet they did not fit into society’s “norms.” We miss out on so many possibilities because of this prejudice! We may even pass up the chance to meet a soulmate, or our split-apart (our complementary life partner), because we allow appearance to get in the way of what our hearts need. It is not our hearts that stop us from pursuing such a relationship, but rather that stigma. The reaction from others seems to overpower how we ourselves actually feel about people.

It’s tough to face the reaction from strangers when they can’t accept an odd couple, but when friends and family voice their opinions instead of being supportive, the relationship can become strained. It takes thick skin to overcome such pressure, and most of us are not equipped to deal with that level of negativity. How do you hang out with people who are against your relationship to begin with?

Change is frightening to a lot of people. If you don’t fall in line you are branded a heretic, a rebel–or just plain “difficult.” Yet it is often those who chose to think “outside the box” who truly changed the world. Do you think all the great minds in history stopped what they were trying to achieve when they realized their goals did not fall within the lines of tradition?

Sigmund Freud thought cocaine was the “heal all” for fatigue, until he killed a family member with the drug–and got himself and his wife addicted to it. Yet we still look upon him as having been one of the greatest minds in history.

We don’t choose who we love–love chooses us. The choice we do have is whether to take a chance with the person love throws our way.
Not giving an opportunity to someone who isn’t McDreamy or the
long-legged blue-eyed blonde you thought you would end up with might
change your karma, and not for the better.

Look at it this way: you asked the fates to provide you with love, and then someone came your way who could give you that love. And yet you passed them by because their nose was too big, or they were too tall or too short–whatever the reason, fate will interpret this as a lack of seriousness about what you said you wanted. Then not only will you lose out, but fate may take it as a slap in the face, and not grant you another chance.

Remember, your soulmate–your split-apart–is not your match, but your opposite. They complete you, so if you are drop-dead gorgeous, do you think the person who is meant to be with you is as good-looking as you are? Chances are good that they are, instead, the opposite.

So your decision is: do you want beauty–or do you want love?

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