Dr. Phil might have one of the best phrases I’ve ever heard,“How’s that working for you?” I’ve used that phrase so many times when a friend guiltily explains how they haven’t dealt with a situation and wished they had or could. I usually throw in Dr. Phil’s famous five words. Although my friends love me and I love them, this phrase is my little reality slap in the face that some folks need. Stop letting life control you, and take control!
As Psychic Giovanna points out, when you’re in the middle of chaos, that is a great time to figure what’s going on. Don’t wait until you’re out of chaos, because that may take forever or be too late. Take a few moments, and stop to refocus where you want to go.
When I’ve been overwhelmed with life and I realize it, I use a technique called Chunking Down. It’s a process to move from a big overwhelming situation to specific, manageable steps. For the purposes of this article, I’ll use the example of being happy. You can insert whatever issue or situation you want, whether it is to be more organized at work, planning a wedding or looking for Mr. Right.
1. State the problem.
This is not a time to place blame or judgment. State the issue in all its glory and horror. If it’s preventing from being happy, feeling complete or depressing you, there’s your issues. Does it matter why you’re unhappy? Not really. The fact is you are unhappy. So what are you going to do about it?
2. Why is this a problem? What is it preventing you from doing?
Next, explain to yourself why being unhappy (or insert your issue here) is preventing from living the life you want. Dig deep with this one. Keep asking yourself why being unhappy is not a good thing for you.
3. What do you want?
Once you’ve figured why it’s an issue, let’s move on to imagining what it would feel like if you weren’t feeling this way. Imagine what it would be like to be happy. Feel the emotions. See yourself in this new situation. Hear the sounds around you as you feel happy.
4. Name one thing you can to be more happy?
Just one thing. Now go do that one thing. When you’ve accomplished that, what’s the next thing you can do to be happier? Good. Go do that one thing.
Instead of sitting and allowing a situation to take over and slow you down, now you can step up and tackle it. By breaking down how the situation affects you emotionally, you can take control of your feelings and actions.