Why Soulmates Aren’t Lifemates

We make many personal assumptions about the term “soulmates.” The most common is that if we feel we have a soul connection with someone, it automatically means that we are “supposed” to be together in this lifetime. This can lead to much pain and suffering if we spend time and energy working to “force” that reality. The real connections that we have—soul to soul—are a deep, spiritual aspect of our human existence. This may not be about finding gratification with another person. It could be that you are meant to feel a deep connection to this person in order to learn more about your soul, and this life that you are living in the now.

When we consider what we need or want, we are being human. When we consider what our spiritual lessons are, we are above the mundane thoughts of day to day, and can, in this mode, find true peace and serenity. There is no relationship, no ownership that can provide that same peace of mind. Learning what the goal for our soul selves will be with this “soul mate” becomes easier if we can shift our perspective. Does your love have a price tag? Is your love dependent on whether or not you get the gratification of being with that person in a certain and absolute format? Or is the true gift the level or depth of spiritual connection you can achieve without that need to control the outcome?

I know that as “humans” we are like children, and we want what we want when we want it. That’s understandable – however, getting what we want does not always make us spiritually happy. In fact, it rarely does. Desire for something is a way to capture our attention, to get us to look deeply at something… as is pain. What are we looking for here? Do we want to get that “thing” we want more than we want to be spiritually at peace? In wanting that soulmate to be yours, you lose the very spiritual nature of the love between you. Would you still want it if you owned it? What if the very act of wanting to own that relationship is what destroys the spiritual or soul connection that exists?

The true nature of spiritual happiness is said to be… acceptance. Wayne Dyer, a spiritual teacher, tells us that “If I could define enlightenment briefly, I would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is.” With that in mind, can you shift your perspective, and see that perhaps this is more about feeling the genuine and authentic spirit and soul inside that human being rather than trying to harness or own the experience? It is rare to feel that deep connection with another being, to be grateful for every moment, every instance of that connection, and allow it to reshape your spiritual path. Your life may become filled with genuine and authentic moments!