Some people aren’t anti-marriage, they just aren’t ready for it. Other people don’t want to get married – ever! But what happens when those people fall in love with marriage-minded partners? If you’re part of a couple conflicted over marriage, the reason behind each person’s stance matters – and you’ll never know what those reasons are until you take the time to discuss it in a non-threatening, loving forum.
Sounds easy, right? Wrong.
Here’s the deal, if you’re the one resisting marriage, be honest with yourself and your partner about your position. Communicate why you don’t want to get married and listen to why your partner wants to get married. If you’re the one who wants to get married, it’s important to find out why your partner doesn’t. Is your partner philosophically opposed to marriage as an institution? Or do they just not see themselves as marriage material? Do they think about getting married – just not to you? Maybe they want to get married… someday.
If your partner says they never want to get married, believe them. You’ll only hurt yourself if you wait around hoping they’ll eventually change their mind. Your options are simple but tough: stay in the relationship without any expectation of marriage or leave the relationship and try to find a new partner who is interested in getting married. Take the time to carefully consider what will bring you the most happiness in the long-term. Either way, you will sacrifice something important to you – but if you stay in a relationship built on false hope, you just might end up sacrificing your entire life.
One of the more painful realizations in life is that you can love someone but not want to spend the rest of your life with them. If your partner seems open to marriage yet resistant to marrying you, it may be time to ask some tough questions. Does your partner see you as someone they could marry? Do they want to spend the rest of their life with you? As much as it may hurt to hear the answers, in the long run you’ll be better off knowing what kind of future the relationship really has.
Of course, most people do want to get married – but that doesn’t mean they are all on the same schedule. If your partner is pushing marriage off or on you, listen to their reasons. Are they worried about losing their freedom… what about losing you? Are they afraid they’ll lose the sexual spark after getting married? Or do they just want to spend more time in the courtship phase before committing to daily life together? If they seem open to the idea of marrying you, but aren’t ready to make the move just yet, don’t panic. You can communicate your desire to get married and still listen to your partner’s reasons for waiting a while – and visa versa. And when the time is right to tie the knot, you’ll be stronger as a couple and more prepared for the strategy marriage will inevitably require.
Why do you want to get married?
Before you even begin to question why one partner doesn’t want to get married, take a step back and consider why the other partner does want to get married. Does it seem like the logical next step in his life? Maybe one of you wants to start a family? Or are you getting pressure from either ste of parents?
There are a million reasons to get married and a million more stay single. But if either you or your partner have doubts, there’s really only one choice: wait to get married until you’re both ready and willing to commit to a lifelong partnership.
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