Torn Between Two Lovers?

Torn Between Two Lovers

When faced with the choice between two lovers, the heart may pull you in one direction, but sometimes this can fool you into making the wrong decision. Here are seven questions designed to help you make the logical choice in a rather illogical situation.

1. Is it Really Love?

There are two things pulling you towards most love triangles. One, an infatuation for the new (guy or gal). Two, a familiarity to the old ex. What is love? I think most would describe it as being a combination of security, romance, and commitment. If you look at both relationships you’re juggling right now, you can see that someone is not getting the Full Monty every time you say “I love you.” If you discover where your true commitment resides, you will know with whom your heart truly belongs.

2. Do You Fear Letting Go of Your Ex?

In many divorces/breakups, we are drawn to remain friends with our ex. This is great, especially when there are kids involved. However, one drawback is that this can rekindle old feelings, which makes it just that much more difficult to move on and invest yourself in another relationship. You don’t want to secretly be keeping a part of yourself reserved for the one that got away.

3. What Draws You to Each of These Lovers?

Research has shown that there is usually one way that we split romantic feelings between two people. We take two people who share some of our greatest interests, and combine them into one fantastic person. What you really need to consider is if either of these lovers isn’t enough by themselves, you’re probably better off without either of them. This is one case where you are dealing with a lose-lose situation. No matter who you choose, you will never be completely satisfied.

“Love and relationships are kind of like jobs, we change constantly until we find that right one that sticks around for the long haul.” – Lacy ext. 5494

4. How New is This Second Love?

Researcher Arthur Aron of Stony Brook University suggests that most love affairs produce an excess of stress hormones in the blood. This can distort our perception of the other person, making your fear of getting caught feel like falling in love with that person. Before you get too far with this second lover, think about investing your new-found excitement and passion into your existing relationship. You might be surprised by how much good will come of it.

5. Are You Using the Word “Love” to Sugarcoat the Realization That You are Cheating?

Most people in love triangles are unaware of each other, so regardless of whether you’re married or playing the field, you’re cheating someone from the truth. We like to think of ourselves as a good person who would never purposely hurt someone. One way to accomplish this is to blame cupid for needing a new pair of prescription glasses. However, I think we both know who’s really at fault for this predicament.

“Attracting sex is simple. The hard part is when someone believes that sex and love are the same or that one will naturally lead to the other.” – Reed ext. 5105

6. Are You a Product of Divorced Parents?

While divorce does not always have damaging effects on the kids, one byproduct of watching this drama unfold is a fear of intimacy. In order to curb this fear, some kids learn to bolster their relationships by demanding perfection in their partners. The result of this is an idealized view of marriage and a fear of commitment. In other words, you may worry about settling, because there’s the chance that somebody better might come along. With your heart set on finding a saint, your next love triangle will always be one step away from every mysterious stranger you fantasize about being your soulmate.

7. Are You Really Prepared to Open This Can of Worms?

If you’re thinking of adding a new love to your repertoire, think very carefully about the hurt and confusion you’re about to unleash on yourself and, eventually, your two lovers. You may feel like you have more than enough love to give to everyone, but you’ll still be cheating both partners out of a true commitment. Trading in a lemon for two oranges may seem like a good idea, until you realize a little sugar is all that’s usually needed to turn that first option into a tall glass of lemonade!

Exclusive offer: New customers can speak to a psychic for ONLY $1 per minute. Select your psychic advisor here.

Who is your true love? Talk to a psychic and find out. Call 1.800.573.4830 or choose your psychic now.

42 thoughts on “Torn Between Two Lovers?

  1. Heather

    I’m in a situation like that. I’ve been married for 2 years now, and we’ve been together for 4. At the same time my husband and I started dating, I met a guy. He’s been a very good friend since then, nothing more. I’ve always liked him, but never pushed it or allowed my emotions to get out of hand because of my relationship with my husband. However, a year and a half ago I started having problems with my husband. We stopped talking, spending time together, and just fell apart. So in April, my friend had a bad breakup with his ex. I was his support system, and we started talking more and more. I started falling in love with him. My husband and I are now separated, and I’ve completely cut ties with my friend. There were too many rumors going around about us and he doesn’t want to be the reason my marriage fails. But I can’t stop thinking about him at all, I’m barely sleeping or eating or anything. And my husband desperately wants to fix things, knowing my feelings for my friend. I feel guilty because I want to do the right thing, and have always believed that a marriage is sacred and divorce is a dirty word.

  2. Kathryn

    Somehow, I found myself in this kind of situation and I am really hurting. I am just few days away from important University exams and I simply can’t concentrate on studying.

    For more than a year I had been in this online relationship with this guy. Though I was not always shown respect I loved him very much and at the end he also loved me. He used to mention things at times that not always appealed to me like D/s relationships, 3 somes, etc and these used to hurt me a bit since I have always believed that true love is when two partners always treat each other with love and respect equal from both sides and having no third parties involved.Somehow when I wanted to discuss them with him he always managed to put those aside and saying he does not want them anymore. Unfortunately earlier on this year his internet and electricity suffered a huge blow and we were not able to chat anymore for 2 months. Sometimes like 2 or 3 times in a month i would receive an email from him saying he sent it from an internet cafe and telling me he misses me and how life is. With this guy the plan was that as soon as I graduate he moves to my country and we would be together. He could not afford visiting me now though.

    Meanwhile a month had passed, and this other guy came along also through internet. We had chatted before but now he seemed to be taking our chats to a more romantic side and I was immediately drawn to him. I had been feeling very lonely and depressed without the first guy. Things started to get deeper with the second guy when he told me he was visiting my country as he has relatives there and wanted us to meet for a coffee. I decided it was ok and a week or two before he got here we grew so close and eventually met more than once. Every time we met he brought me expensive presents and payed for everything (even though I insisted to pay). Apart from that he is such a true gentleman, (not for presents) I really mean it. He has a way how to treat a lady. The thing is that with this guy there can’t actually be hope that we would be living together .We have a huge age gap between us and I am sure that none of our families would be pleased with this relationship. In fact we had agreed that this relationship should be kept in secret. So our meetings would be when one of us visits each others country for a holiday.

    In the meantime I used to wonder what happened with the first guy (still thought about him) but was so happy communicating through various media with the second guy. Now trouble started when a few days ago I was on live cam with the second guy, my mob rang, and it was the first guy after a lot of time. I was so shocked, I could barely speak to him and he noticed something was wrong with me. In the meantime the second guy was hearing everything I was saying and so I had to tell him what was happening. He was suddenly filled with sadness and disappointment and told me that if I still wanted him I should delete the first guy, (something I never dream of doing)

    Now I let the first guy know what was happening and he was quite stunned and than angry. When things cooled down a bit I opened the cam with him and we were discussing. (This was the first time I saw him live on cam and I can’t deny that I still have quite strong feelings for him and can’t imagine not finding him on the internet. He is very open minded and always gave me good advice and he told me to do what seemed the best for me and told me he would never delete me if I decided to choose the second guy. Now the second guy has forgotten about the episode with the first and is his usual self with me and will be visiting me again in four months time but I feel so broke inside. On one side I still have feelings for my first lover even though through cam he sometimes dominated me in his words and at the same time I know I would never find another love like that of the second guy, with all his gentlemanly like ways and if he knows I am still in contact with the first guy I am sure I would have lost him for good.

    Can someone please help with some advice? I would be very grateful as I currently feel so depressed, lonely and sad with how messed up my love life is and I simply can’t fail my exams because of lack of concentration.

    Thank you very much in advance.

  3. Suzie

    I am in the middle of what each of these emails are about. The reasons it started would fill a novel. I have unleashed a mess that will be next to impossible to finish. At this time what I need is to be alone for a very long time. My heart goes out to each of you we are soul mates in the same experience.

  4. pandora

    love does exist in the world it may be complicated at sometimes and hard to find but its still there u just have to look for it with your open heart and mind

  5. Athena

    All these ladies who are not satisfied with there partner need to stop holding on to the past. Love for women is something that satisfies their emotional needs. Life is too short. Be happy. If a man can satisfy you emotionally I am sure that both parties will have tremendous love. The sex will then be very passionate. live life to the fullest. Never cut yourself short.
    Good luck ladies

  6. JBGP

    Im got married to my husband for 4 years. We’re away for 2years coz we are both in foriegn countries and i found a new guy in that 2years im away from my husband. Now my husband is here with me now and i choose him but i feel im not inlove with him anymore because i love the other guy now.but im trying to fall in love again with my husband and forgetting the other guy.

  7. Bossladii

    I have been with my husband 11 yrs and we seperated two years ago for 6months i started seeing someone else i continued to see him a little while after i went back to my husband because i felt i needed the security but my heart is with the other guy and im scared to take a chance starting over i just dont know what to do

  8. DGirl

    This sure hits home, my marriage of 10 yrs was not going well, I was in a lonely state with no communication. was desiring passion love all from my partner but never recieved it. I was drawn to a very passionate and loving man who made me feel so special. My spouse moved out for a week after i told him things were just not good any more and i was not happpy the way things were. he came back with a new perspective on our marriage, he has done a 190 on me…I see and feel he truly loves me…but the worst part is my feelings for him were destroyed and i just cant seem to get myself to return what he wants now…how ironic. The other man has been in my life for the past 2 years, but then out of the blue he put a stop to our meeting said he wants me to be more a part of his life then just when I can get away. Iam at a crossroad and truly am in love with him. what shall i do?

  9. Karen

    I was in a relationship for 5 yrs with a guy who was a recovering alcoholic he was more of a good friend we helped each other out . I drove him around to his meetings and other obligations but he helped me and my daughter out financially .but he didn’t want to have sex .he would say things like maybe tomorrow we will have sex. He always wanted me to stay at his house and just cuddle with him. He never wanted to do anything or go any where. It would make me very mad. He was very selfish but he always told me he loved me. Well after the 5 yrs I met a really nice guy whom I have a lot in common with and he is very good to me . I broke up with the first guy and told him I was interested in this other man. Started seeing this other man for a month and the other was really torn over the break up he sent me flowers and told he loved me so much and that he wanted to marry me he had bought me an engsgement ring which I never saw, but he been sick with a tumor and kemo and I almost feel obligated to him . We got together for a few days and he told me he would change and do everything possible to make me happy . Doing things with me and even having sex. Well I am very confused. I do love him , but I am falling for this other man which really cares about I don’t know what to do

  10. Willz

    I am torn between my new boyfriend and my two adult boys. I have been choosing between the two each one blaming the other and now I don’t know what to do i will never choose a man over my children this is about trust who is stealing from me and why don’t they just tell me the truth. i am in a deep situation right now and i really don’t konw what to do. Is there anyone out there who can give me some advice as to handle this situation without anyone getting hurt especially me. HELP!!!!Momma in distress

  11. melanie lampman

    this helped alot i get so torn between my ex who i have alot in common with & he was my rock when my mom was dyin but he dangles that to get me back its been goin on for 9 yrs now i have finally broken away from him but i do miss him a great deal but hes not the person i fell in love with hes changed immensly & the guy im with now is sooooooo good to me treats me like a queen and luves me unconditionally so thank you hopsfully i can get over my ex some day totally over him this was very helpful for me sincerely melanie

  12. celia shook

    Love these videos. They are helping me for choosing the next psychic to call, I have spoken to many of your psychics. I am still waiting for results of my readings to happen.


  13. Jesse 9027

    Eric forgot a very big piece of this equation: the spirital and Karmic connection that causes many people to find themselves drawn into situations that defy logic.

    Sometimes, the biggest Karmic lesson we have to share with someone (for whom we so passionately yearn) is really how to say “good-bye”.

    “In school, I learned the shortest distance between two points is

    a straight line ._____.
    In love, I have learned that the longest line
    is in the word

  14. Karen

    I am the one torn between two lovers. I have been married for 38 years and in love with my cousin for 44 years. We have recently taken our relationship further than before and spent a week together. We both share feelings that we have both never felt before in any relationship ever. My husband is my high school sweetheart. Our relationship has been going south for the last 4-5 years. He has found out that I cheated but is willing to take me back. I live in Canada and my cousin lives in the USA. I am not afraid to go there. I have recently retired and donot want to lose andy of my health benefits or my pension, etc. so I want to make sure everything can be set up before I go. My cousin is disabled and is on Social Security income. We have not told the rest of our families yet. I truly love him and we do not feel this is an infatuation. I love my husband as a friend only. I do not feel physically attracted to him and have not for many years. It is a hard place to be.

  15. Megan Willis

    At the square, when I first met my ex-boyfriend. I was single and wanting to date somebody else. but I was torn between my ex and my crush this past July. So I chose my ex instead. Not knowing what was going to happen between us.

  16. Lynn Rose

    WOW, after 12+ years with her ( and him, I ask her to tell him before week 5 began ) I’m still alone with everyone thinking she’s just one one the many. I don’t think the 3 of us will be going to hell………. we’re there NOW! She feels like a tramp after spending the night ( but she damed us in staying were the money and assets are ), She was out 12 years ago because he allows it, stop having sex with her after the year 2 and still hasn’t told me to stop seeing her. He’s got the castle and her as a servant. ( he damed us by being a father figure to her and if things get to far, he brings out the money and security. I knew she was my soulmate the 1st time we dated, 15 years earlier. ( I damed us by making her my everything and loving her more each day and not having more cash ). She wants me to find someone and be happy. Now I’m a protector that wants to save her. And worse, trying to force her make the move. The roller coaster affair from HELL. We stop the longest in 12…. 8 months, then 6-8 weeks after that 5-10 days. If the Love wasn’t there……… After 12+ years, the sex is even better the next time. Try to guess in 12 years how many times? With all this when time permits, I blame myself for not making her my wife in college and trying to have 8-10 children. That’s how much I love her. PLEASE SOMEONE! HELP US!

  17. Martin

    well i find myself doing the same thing with my ex of twenty + years and friend of twenty+years and i find myself leaning toward the ex and after reading the seven question that was listed. what is it that i am doing

  18. Annetta

    This is exactly what my husband was doing behind my back, and when i caught him lying to me, that’s when he told me it was over, I have since filed for divorce, and now he doesn’t think he owes me anything since we were together for 10 – years and we’ve been separated for 9 months

  19. Sheryle bird

    I loved this article it was quite interesting. I have been married 30 years and felt lonely and rescentful. My husband had cheated on me and was an alcoholic. There was a lot if stress in my life. I was working for LASD “deputy sheriff,” I was taking care of mom and brother, my son was involved in drugs , and my daughter, who was the sun in my sky moved to Alabama to be with her new hudsband. If that wasn’t enough the Sheriff’s dept had to retire me after 30 years because of a bad injury on an incident with a crimal. I was very lonely so I hired a trainer half my age, and now we are living together. My husband wants me back but he is still drinking, (but so is the trainer). I Am in love with him but I get a little jealous of all the women is has relationships with. This is about as confusing as anyone can get. It is always is a constant battle of what should I do

  20. Pam Johnson

    All that was said was & is very true, hits home with me. I hate it when someone lies to me.
    they r not to be trusted again u lie about something small u want think twice to do it again,
    it just continues.

  21. Kisha

    Im in love with a married man but he filled for a divorce because his wife cheated on home could he be the one for me!!!!!

  22. Diane Crane

    I really wish people would lose the word “soulmate”, (mentioned as the last word in Paragraph 6). I do think that we live in a culture that finds it all too easy to obsess on certain words like this. There are lots of perfectly worthwhile potential lovers out there who may or may not qualify as a “soulmate”. I still say that while we have our differences, those differences do not make us unworthy of a possibly great, no, epic relationship with another person. You have to choose the person you connect with the most on all levels, but above all look for kindness. It may be in short supply these days!!!

  23. clarita

    am clarita, very hard to me to have this relationship now….my bf now and tobe my husband as well….he have a live in partner in there place and not easy to me bec…hes vert far for me and i hbeave no rigth so say something to him bec…he angry to me….i ,love him and he loves my two boys and sometimes his hard headed….i sacrifice it for my kids and to be a good wife and a mother also…..i do not know if happened that we married this year ill just wait it if happened…..very hard to me like this relationship but i love him and i think he loves me also….i have bf also before that he wanted untill now to be with me and welling also to married me….but i commit one already….please advice me what my sign to me….i mean am aries and this year is good for me or good luck??? for LOVE,MONEY,HAPPINES????MORE MORE

  24. pete battoglia

    i work with one lady in the beggining i asked her out two differen times she said i work 2 jobs and help her sistr around her house they lived togatherafter i meet the 2 lady then she became interested but never said anythingif i talked to an other lady at work she always had something to say abouit italso when i started dating the 2 lady we could only go out on weekends as she wiorked 2 jobssometimes we would see each other during the week the 2 lady moved two times i and her family helped heri loaned her money and she always paid me back when ever we are to gather and wathching tv we are so comfortable we fall asleep infront of tv i have never been that way with any other lady the 1 lady is vietinese and her eating habits are different then minethanks

  25. anggi

    im anggi i do i have bf but now he i meet wth new guy.i dont love him bit i like to be with him,.but i still want my ex back hoe soon thankyou.

  26. Sylvia Harrison

    Sometimes I really don’t know what to do and I just want to throw in the tower. I really love this man and he have cheated on me several times. I have forgiving him and when I don’t hear from him my mind go back to where I been before. Do you think that he is cheated on me still? I want the lady on ext, 9192 to read this please.

  27. Helen Leptos

    Couldn’t have been put in a better way. Thats exactly what is needed. More sugar for your lemon to become lemonade not two oranges to replace the lemon.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *