We’re constantly looking to identify qualities we have in common with our partners. But it can be the differences that we have which not only allow us to define our own identities, but which add to the nuances that make a relationship more exciting.
Here are a few things you don’t need to have in common that will not impact your relationship:
1. Fashion Style. If your partner is a suit during the day, that doesn’t mean you suddenly need to turn yourself inside out to resemble the Drapers on “Mad Men.” If it turns into an issue, you might want to have fun giving each other a make-over. Go in with an open mind and make sure to keep the mood light by starting off with the basics – underwear.
2. Friends. He likes to hang with the fellas and shoot pool, she likes to go for martinis with her friends – is that so wrong? To have a healthy relationship, there should be interests that don’t align. Sparking debate (not fights) and getting a way to have fun apart from each other makes you closer when you come together. Forced into group situations? Try compromising with a party for all your friends. You may be underestimating their powers to adapt.
3. Skills in the House. Divide up the duties. Who says you have to excel at everything? If your mate prefers washing the windows and you get satisfaction, that’s a positive. You both contribute to your home in different areas.
Celebrate the nuances and don’t go changing just to please another person. You’ll feel stronger in your relationship when you don’t look for small differences to be deal breakers. If you really want to take your relationship forward, there will be compromises on some levels, but in these categories it’s not worth walking away from a good thing.