Taking on Soulmate Trauma
Part of our human journey is that we sometimes come into this life with hard lessons to learn. Sometimes, these lessons include major trauma—the kind that leaves permanent marks on who we are as souls, human beings and lovers. Thankfully not all of us have chosen these hard lessons. But what do we do if our soulmate has?
As our closest human relationship, our soulmate has a huge effect on our well-being and future. If our soulmate is spiritually and emotionally wounded, this can effect their ability to commit to us, to be honest with us, to nurture us emotionally and to respond to us lovingly. So what do we need to know about how to help our soulmate in the event that they are dealing with a serious life trauma?
Understand Their Triggers
For many people who have gone through trauma, there are certain triggers or hot spots that cause them to withdraw from us. For example, as a sexual abuse survivor, I had a very hard time with certain forms of physical affection, especially at the beginning of relationships. My soulmate was able to help me greatly by simply being willing to understand that there were certain things I could not do at that time, and they also encouraged me to get help for those problems. Maybe your beloved cannot do or accept certain things. The first step to changing this is actually accepting it.
Encourage Them to Seek Help
If your beloved is suffering from trauma, do encourage them to seek help. The help they need may be medical, emotional, psychological or spiritual. Be supportive and make it clear to them that you do not judge them for what they have gone through. Remember that seeking help is a sign of strength and remind your soulmate of this. Also remember that if you are not a professional, you are not qualified to take responsibility for their healing journey. Both you and your lover will do better if there is someone objective involved to help.
Get Support for Yourself
Providing the level of love and nurturing that a damaged partner needs is very demanding. Get someone on your team to help you deal with your own emotional and spiritual needs. It’s way too easy to let yourself be bogged down in your partner’s pain, especially if you are empathic or psychically gifted yourself. Make sure you have a friend, family member, councilor or spiritual adviser who can listen to you and offer objective input. This is especially vital if you have trauma in your own life that is triggered by your soulmate’s pain (which is not uncommon). So don’t be shy about expressing your need for love and support as well.
This one can be very difficult because we love our soulmates and we want to be there for them unconditionally. However, we have to remember that we are not helping them by allowing ourselves to be drained. For traumatized soulmates, commitment, intimacy, communication, addictive behavior and infidelity are common issues. So are clinginess, jealousy and emotional outbursts. While it is important to be loving and understanding, it is also of equal necessity that you set limits that are healthy for you. If your lover crosses the line, you need to back away. Tell them gently but firmly where the lines are, and stick to your guns. This will be better for everyone in the long run, and is often the difference between a toxic relationship in the now or a healthy and vibrant one in the future.
Believe in Healing
The truth is that healing from trauma can take years. But as long as there is life there is hope and healing. Sometimes the person dealing with trauma will have very dark moments where they cannot see that healing down the road. In these moments, ask your guides for strength to be a rock for them. Hold firm to the belief that there is true healing and happiness for you both on the other side of the hard times.